A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Recently I have realised I have feelings for a man who I have known for 10 years. We met when I was 17, he was 21, and he asked me out on a date. We only dated for a few weeks before going our own ways and reconciling a few months later as just friends. I consider him my close friend and although we have not been constant in each other's lives we have somehow always popped up when we needed each other's support and friendship throughout the years, although it has always been him to contact me first. We met up a few weeks ago for the first time in 3 years (we have text each other sporadically in the years) and he admitted afterwards how lovely it is to see me again and how sad he was everytime I put off our arrangements to meet. He has also told me how he often thought about me and missed me. We met as friends, it was in no way a date, and met again a few days later to hang out and get some a take away. Since then we have been texting every day since and have started to flirt alot but when I ask to meet he either ignores the question or says he's busy, which I know he is and he has also started to text less frequently. I'm finding myself confused and wondering if I should be honest about how I feel about him. I don't want to ruin my friendship with him as he is my trusted companion but I can't help feel like I'd be missing something special if I didn't try. He has stuck up for me in many situations and has always been there to help me through difficult times and vice versa. I have dropped hints and comments about how I think he's good looking or joked how I would like him all to myself but I don't know if he understands I actually mean it as he doesn't seem to believe me when I say it and asks for a more in depth explanation.Should I be totally honest or shall I leave it as friends and stop thinking about him? I don't want to scare him away from my life as I love having him as one of my best mates. Please help!
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female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (8 April 2017):
 I think he knows this could be coming up, and is not interested given his evasive maneuvers.If he were interested even would make time when he was available to see you. I think he's just finding flirting fun but not meaning much to come from it
A
female
reader, LifeEssence +, writes (8 April 2017):
Hi there, it sounds like you care about this person deeply to be worrying so much about losing them altogether.It did take 3 years to physically meet up with him again but the frequent contact is good. Though you have said he's been less frequent with contact and hasn't been picking up on your flirting. Well, from what I gather from your situation you are also dear to him as well, and perhaps life has gotten in the way of you two seeing each other. I do recommend to continue communicating as friends and continue to suggest another meet up in person. If he makes lots of excuses not to even meet you as just a friend, then you'd have to consider something or someone is more important to him than your friendship.On the other hand, if he agrees to meet you on a few occasions then if I were you I'd pluck up the courage to tell him how you feel and see how he responds. I will emphasise waiting after a few meetups as not to surprise him or scare him off, but if he feels the same for you then he'll be ecstatic to know how you feel! So my advice to you is keep things friendly for now and wait until after a few meet ups to say how you feel. If he doesn't make the time for you, move on from him and find someone who will. If he does, it could be the start of a love long overdue! I wish you all the best with your situation, stay strong and you'll find the answers you're looking for.
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