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Should I be more understanding when he is stressed?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 April 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 15 April 2010)
A female Australia age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My bf doesn't think anything to do with me is important. I have been looking for a job for months now, stressing because i have bills to pay but because of the bad economy it is very hard to find work in my industry.

i finally did get a full time job and he didn't even seem to care. he did say congratulations, thats really good, but thats all no enthusiasm or anything. my friends offered to take me out for a celebratory dinner. and it isn't just a job, this is my dream job, a career with a great international company.

he is so stressed with his studies and daughter but when i try to voice that im feeling down cos it seems like he doesn't care he will just make me feel like i am a burden to him and i should keep my feelings to myself (he has even told me to do so)

should i be more understanding when he is stressed? if it was like one week then yeah sure i would put my feelings aside but its constant, if he isnt stressed about one thing there will be something else!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2010):

Relationships are a two-way street. If he's not listening to your problems and not caring about you & your problems then you shouldn't have to listen to his.

He's welcome to be stressed out & I know what it's like to be stressed out - it makes you really focused on yourself - but I have always managed to make time for my boyfriends problems & my friends problems & let me tell you - I've been going through some TERRIBLE stuff. And everyone around me is the same - they have problems but they make time for my problems too.

If it's occasional behavior then its forgivable, but if its so regular - I wouldn't put up with it. You deserve better. Maybe you could suggest he see a psychologist or a psychiatrist if you think he's depressed (depression can make some people quite selfish) - but I have no idea how you could bring this up.

Stand up for yourself girlfriend! You deserve so much better!

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