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Should I be letting her past affect me like this?

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 March 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 12 March 2007)
A male Togo age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have trouble with my gf past but the thing is she is a virgin and im just trouble by the fact that she has kiss 13 guys and give oral sex to 2 of her 3 past boyfriends but to me thats enough and it troubles me and especially the guys she has kiss the first day or second day of meeting them by the way of the 13 guys she has only kissed 2 the same day she had meet them but to me that bothers me big time i know I shouldnt be like this because you might say for gods sake she is virgin and kisses are kisses but a person who kiss another the same day they meet and then theres no relationship that tells me something about the person anyways I would like to know if that really is a stupid reason to be bothered i know that past is not that serious but it still bothers me. I have only 1 sexual partner who was my only girlfriend in the past and the only person I kiss and she has 13 kiss guys and 4 boyfriends and were both 19.

View related questions: her past, oral sex

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A male reader, maxsteel86 United Kingdom +, writes (12 March 2007):

maxsteel86 agony auntDont go digging up the past, all you get is dirt. But if the past falls down all over you, then that's a different story. I know it bothers you right now, but really, nothing can be changed and nothing good can come from your feeling like this. I wouldn't say its a stupid reason to be bothered, I guess you're just worried that she might suddenly do something that'll get to you. A little lack of trust from you maybe? Talk to her and if she hasn't given u a reason not to trust her so far, then dont let the past stand in the way of your relationship

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A female reader, vero05 Australia +, writes (11 March 2007):

talk to her. let her know that her past is bothering u, i f she really loves u shell understand ur feeling uncomfertable. the key is communication.

good luck

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A male reader, technofreak United Kingdom +, writes (11 March 2007):

technofreak agony auntonly way to find out if shes a virgin is to give her one dont mind how many blokes she kissed etc means she has got more experience, if you take precautions then it dont matter if she slept with a few or more blokes. take her out and see how it goes if she starts flirting then dump her. and how do you know how many blokes she kissed? did she tell you maybe she said that to see your reactions, play it by ear mate see how it goes. good luck

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2007):

Listen...everyone has a past and yes I think you're letting this cloud your judgement and what's to judge anyway she has done nothing wrong. She is still a virgin and even if she wasn't that is her business. If you care about her you'll live in the moment and not think about what has been before; if you do this you WILL lose her and it would be a silly reason to not try and pursue your happiness. If it bothers you that much then finish it and move on to someone who has no intimate experiences with a man so that you feel more secure about yourself. Take my advice just forget her past and be nice to her.

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