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Should I be her hero?

Tagged as: Dating, Love stories, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 July 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 16 July 2010)
A male United States age 30-35, *nickx writes:

If you could, take a few mins and help me be creative :)

normally, i have no problems with girls what so ever. But... this case is different.

Ive tried to date her in the past.

Once sophomore year. Nearly worked, except best friend was an arsehole to her, so she decided to back out, and refused to talk to me after that.

Tried to reopen communication with her junior year, but she was seeing someone.

So i saw her at the park sat, she was with friends, didnt talk to her (talked to her friends), but got me thinking about her again. Which is big, cuz normally i get over girls in a very short time so i figure if im still wondering about her 3 years later (i think its because im wondering what could have been) then i probably like her.

lets see... she is quiet/shy, pretty down to earth and just got hurt bad today by her now ex.

So im not quite sure how i should approach it. If i try to talk to her, shes going to assume im doing it because i want a relationship with her, as thats how its happened twice before.

So how should i do it? should i play hero and try to pick her up cuz her ex is being a real arse to her right now. or do you think it would impress her if i made efforts to become closer with her friends first because shes very close to them.

Or maybe write a memorable song. Or poem. I can do both, im good at writing as long as i have a topic, and good at singing as long as i write the melody. it just cant be some sappy love song/poem :)

I can sweep a girl i just met off her feet, i just cant sweep this girl ive known for 3 years off her feet.

Creativity welcome

Nick.

View related questions: best friend, her ex

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A male reader, xnickx United States +, writes (16 July 2010):

xnickx is verified as being by the original poster of the question

xnickx agony auntthank you :) it really wasnt about my ideas being grand as i know thats not really what matters. I just wanted to get a broad range of ideas.

thanks to you guys, i think i figured out what im going to do.

Nick.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (15 July 2010):

A woman once said to me that her idea of a hero was a guy who could look at her in the morning when she was wearing no make up and still love her. We laughed at the time.

But the truth is, she made an important point in a jokey sort of way. Whilst women do dream about man coming in and sweeping her off her feet, it really is the down to earth things that count.

Right now, this girl does not want a boyfriend. She wants a friend. If you go in there with letters, poems and such, it will cause her more pain. You can be more of a hero by just being a friend to her and listening right now. That's all she wants. So be that friend, and nothing more right now.

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A female reader, Oregongrl1 United States +, writes (15 July 2010):

You cant sweep her because she has no interest in you! so why dont you get her attention! some girls like boyz who are hard to get so why dont you just make a conversation w/ her but keep it real short maybe even just by saying hello and smile at her and walk on by that will catch her interest. i mean you live in the same town so it's not like you have to hurry her in to liking you because thats one real way of scaring her off. so it will either work or it wont! we all seem to forget a friendship is what blossoms into something special.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2010):

i think you should try to be her friend right now, thats what she needs not another boyfriend and maybe do sweet little things for her like a song or poem just to cheer her up not about wanting to be with her or anything and maybe in the process of all this so will stop and think hes a really nice guy maybe ill give him a chance. goodluck

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