A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Modnote: this is very similar, in the circumstances, but NOT identical to an earlier question submitted recently - you may also find some good answers here: www.dearcupid.org/question/can-i-get-over-this-revelation-three-years.htmlbelow is what was written by the poster of this question below :.....................................I've been going out with my gf for a year (she is 19, i am 18). I met her when she was almost 17, and she liked me her whole senior year before we finally hung out and started going out the summer before she started college, my senior year of hs. Near the end of her senior year of hs, before our first hang out, i mentioned a tv show, which she relied with "my ninth grade bf used to watch that show" i thought nothing of it at the timeFast forward 6 months to us hanging out in her dorm room, both drunk. We started asking each other about our pasts (no details, just general) and i learn she never really went out with this ninth grade bf, she only said he was to make me jealous and gauge my interest. Thought nothing of it at the time.She said she only liked this ninth grade bf because everyone else liked him, and she realized after they hung out she hated him, and that he was a bad person who had a girlfriend. Thought nothing of it at the time Fast forward another 5 months and i find out she gave this ninth grade whatever a bj, while she kinda knew he had a gf. They only hooked up like 2-3 times. When i asked why she did it, she said because her best friend was giving bj's all the time, as well as some of her other friends, and she thought that was what was expected of her. She says she realized it was a mistake, didnt do it again (even until me- she had never even been fingered before me), and didnt get with him again because he wasnt the best person, even before the fact he had a gf at the time.I'm rattled because i didnt think she was the type of person to do something just because everyone else was doing it I met my girlfriend a year and a half after this, and started going out with her three years after this. Am i crazy to think she isn't as good a person as I thought she was? Did she really tell me she had a ninth grade bf to make me jealous? Why did she not let him touch her because she wanted "that to be special," but give him a bj? What should i do?
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male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (14 July 2015):
She did the wrong thing for all of the wrong reasons. She’s guilty of nothing more than a silly mistake when she was young. Show me the person who never got something wrong. You shouldn’t let something that happened years ago change how you think of her. Judge her for the person she is now, not by one thing that she did a long time ago and probably now really regrets. Her excuse that she did it because her best friend was giving blowjobs, shows the extent of her immaturity then. No-one deserves to be condemned for their teenaged errors. Don’t give her a hard time about it. Okay, you’ve found out something you don’t like, but recognise that this is one isolated incident, not a reflection of her character.
I wish you all the very best.
A
female
reader, Ormskirk360 +, writes (14 July 2015):
 You should not post identical questions, that miss out important information, and acknowledge the advice so graciously given in your original question.
Excluding vital information, and rewording the question will not get you more favourable responses that you would prefer to hear.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUpdate: she didn't know the guy had a gf, but had already decided to stop getting with him by the time she found out. Said that he was mad at her when she didn't want to get with him anymore. Less rattled now that I know she didn't know/wasn't really used by someone
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