A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi first time poster and I have two areas in my relationship that are troubling me. Please offer some helpful advice if you can.1)My so and I agreed to air our past dirty laundry(wasn't a good idea).At any rate over the last five years more and more information from her past has trickled out. As I question her about the information I become confused because she will tell me she already told me about a particular event and if I disagree she will tell me I have a perception issue. We all have pasts but the issue I have is I feel she lied to me. The difference in her story now as opposed to when we dated is night and day. She played the coy almost virginal type when in fact it was the complete opposite. Like I said I don't care who or what she did but I value honesty. I was honest about my past I expected the same from her. Here's the kicker she was highly sexual with her past bf's and will say she hated most of them but we are in an almost sexless relationship where I have to initiate 100% of the time and if I say we barely have sex , her reply i'm over reacting and being silly.She also went from being low libido to asexual and back again after a counselor questioned her orientation. The first year of the relationship I considered normal , once hitched she shut down on the the honeymoon and same ever since.2)For months she would come home to the supper table and over my son and I go on about a male co-worker. After a few months of this I requested that she ease back on talking about the other male and focus on our family at the dinner table. Then she switched to talking negatively about him e.g. he's out of shape and not her typeI come to find out they were conversing on the phone at work most days for an hour of more and an external group she originally wanted nothing to do with he convinced her to join(he spent a lot of time building her up and complimenting her). He was the president and made her the vice president. The group ran into financial problems and instead of hiring an accountant they(he and she) decided to do this themselves even though they had no background in numbers(and it was done after work hours).Lastly she started attending conferences and he was always there. Twice I got calls from her in his hotel room. The first time I could hear many people in the background but the second time she called (different conference) she said her room was not ready(even though they had already checked in 4 hours earlier) and she was leaving her bags in his room until her room was ready to occupy. When I run into this guy now he avoids me like the plague.Okay so I left some details out cause I'm trying not too write a book but I am extremely concerned about this. She tells me I should just trust her and can't believe I would be concerned but stuff just doesn't add up. Please comment and I don't mind criticism if you feel I am over reacting which is what she spends her time saying to me. She shuts the conversation down very quickly and makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong for asking questions.
View related questions:
at work, co-worker, her past, libido Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2015): I'm sorry man but you are in deep shit here.
She sounds like a textbook case. She likes being slutty with the bad boys but she pretends to be "nice girl" to get herself a decent man like you. She doesn't want you sexually but she probably likes your companionship & stability that she cannot get from the bad boys.
Now she is almost surely cheating on you with this other guy. Probably giving him the enthusiastic sex life she would never give you. Does this seem like a good deal for you?
This is what you get for treating this kind of woman well. You get taken advantage of. It's time to start planning a breakup IMO.
A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (23 August 2015):
 Her orientation is heterosexual, although she is only sexual when relationships don't go anywhere, and are unpredictable and exciting for her. That would make a serious relationship with her impossible for you, regardless if she already had been cheating with this coworker. No need to hurt yourself by digging up the truth, or worry you don't measure up to other guys. If your sexual lives are not compatible then you should end it.
...............................
|
