A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello.I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years now, but we moved in together in April 2019. I'm 29, he's 28, no real age gap to be honest.We're both "bear"-type men, although not obese, but certainly no gym bunny either; just healthy.Health ain't the issue here, though. The issue here is my partner's sudden change in personality which is making me question my attraction to him.Over the last few weeks he's suddenly started to become more interested in looking twink-like, shaving his body hair completely, buying more feminine clothing including women's crop tops and crop jumpers, and suddenly becoming more romantic/sexual than before.While he was already romantic anyway, at the core of things, our relationship was good, both inside the bedroom and out; I was the guy who knew the financial stuff, he was good with the DIY.But now with this personality change I'm questioning this, as I'm not usually attracted to twinks.He's still got the same personality, mostly, but ditching him due to a drastic personality change would seem cruel wouldn't it?Then again, if I had a dramatic personality change wouldn't he leave me?Obviously people don't and can't stay the same, but am I wrong to be worried?I have asked him where this newfound interest came from, he just said "A spark within me forced this change,can't explain it" while he was gettng ready to drink; this was on a Friday nite.I do love my partner but can't help questioning things, especially as we're in a committed relationship.We moved from Texas to New Hampshire as it was more welcoming of LGBT / gay people than our home state was; at times, I've felt embarrassed to be Texan due to recent politics and things like the electric grid failure etc. and its politics. Well, technically, I'm from Texas, he's from Arkansas, so we're not both Texans.We're pretty similar on the big issues; finances, politics, we both want to be DINK (double income no kids) and want to move to California if things improve politically and socially there, nice as New Hampshire is. I'm intrigued though by my partner's second choice; Washington D.C. as he claims it'd be somewhere good to live but isn't it way too expensive for an IT professional like me, and my partner who's a delivery guy for an Amazon-type small business and wannabe food blogger/restaurant reviewer (we're both very into food, the experiences / restaurants, OK at cooking if not great).However, in general we're agreed on LA in 2 - 3 years but does Washington DC hold any major advantages?My issues are basically "Should I be concerned about my partner's personality change too much?" and "Is moving to Washington DC really worth it over LA?"
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, QueenCupcake  +, writes (24 January 2022):
 You really don’t know everything about someone until you start living with them, that’s why when a couple moves in together, it’s either the making or the breaking of the relationship, that’s why moving in together is such a big deal. I think you should talk to him, and be fully honest about your attraction and your type. Give it a bit of time though, it might just be a phase.
With regards to LA versus Washington, I don’t know much about the United States so not really my place to say
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