A
female
age
51-59,
*ariew
writes:My husband just informed me he asked two of his single guy friends to go on a roadtrip to see a baseball game. He didn't ask me before he asked them and I know these guys are single and always looking for women. should he have asked me first before he went making plans? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2011): Hi. If you are normally the type of couple that discuss things first, then it would have been nice if he had run the idea by you before arranging it with his pals. Manners really. Would he have expected you to talk to him about it before you made plans for a road trip with a couple of your 'man hungry' girlfriends? If you trust him not to behave as his pals do, then just wish him a good trip and say no more. And remember what is good for the goose... Next time you fancy a trip away with friends, you can just plan it and let him know before you leave!
A
female
reader, silenced +, writes (4 August 2011):
 Maybe he was waiting to tell you until the plans were definitely going to happen. And just because he's with guys like that doesn't mean he'll become that guy. He's married to you, and if he's telling you where he's going, I don't see any reason to worry unless he comes back acting differently. Plus, he's going to a baseball game. He's going to be watching a bunch of guys in tight pants. I think most women that go to baseball games are with family or their husbands/boyfriends.
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A
male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (4 August 2011):
Even though he is married, he does not have to answer to you when making decisions about his own life. A loving partner will take their partner into consideration always, but it is ok for him to make his own plans. He doesn't have to check everything with you, it is ok for him to have his own life.
However, he will be gone for a few days, and there will be joint responsibilities which you will have to take care of on your own. It would be right for him to ask if that is ok for you to have to bare the burden for those few days, but under most circumstances it is safe to assume that you will and it is probably not an unreasonable request, if it is the kind of situation where if you had to be away for a few days he would do the same. Depends on circumstances, but it is probably ok.
Your objection sounds more like you don't like the idea of him going away with two single guys who are always looking for women. If you can't trust your husband to behave himself when he is going away for a few days, you either have trust issues with him, or you are nervous because you know your husband isn't trustworthy based on his past behaviour. If you don't trust him even though you know he hasn't done anything wrong, it is probably worth talking about.
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A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (4 August 2011):
 Maybe it was a spur of the moment and he wasn't thinking about what you would say. But he deserves to spend time with his friends and he shouldn't have to ask for permission. You guys are married so you should give him that trust. Just because he's going with guys that like to pick up women doesn't mean he will become a guy that likes to pick up women. He's married to you and knows the boundaries, so you have to trust that he'll do the right thing. But I wouldn't make a big deal of him not consulting you first. He shouldn't have to ask you for permission.
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