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Short men: Have you ever found a tall woman attractive? Would you approach her?

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Question - (28 August 2013) 8 Answers - (Newest, 12 March 2014)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

This may come off as a strange and unusual situation, so bear with me here. I've heard that many men who are under 6 feet tall feel inadequate about being short and overlooked by women for their tall counterparts.

Then there's me. I'm a 6'2" woman who tends to be attracted to short men, usually between 5'5" and 5'9". Yet I only seem to be able to attract really tall men. Don't get me wrong, I don't find tall men unattractive. I just find myself preferring the short ones. They never approach me at all, though. I also don't have the nerve to approach them, because I'm afraid they'll just see me as a giant freak. Not only am I tall, but I'm thick as well. I have a thin waist but very big hips, thick legs, and large breasts. I'm toned because I exercise regularly, but I'll never be skinny. It's just not how I'm built.

I'm currently crazy about a guy who I would guess is about 5'6", and in no way is he perfect. His teeth are stained from smoking, he's already showing signs of aging around his eyes even though he's only in his early 30s, and he wears clothes that are too big for him. Yet those things don't bother me. He's also thin with slightly muscular arms. I love when he wears shorts and I can see his cute little legs. I can't stop fantasizing about what I'd like to do to him sexually. The problem is, he has a girlfriend. A very short one I might add. He's been with her for over 2 years, so I assume they are serious. I know it's inappropriate for me to tell him how I feel, so I'm not going to. This seems to be a never ending problem for me. I get attracted to all these short and usually also thin men who are already spoken for, meaning in relationships or married. Even single short men never seem interested in me. They always want the short, skinny delicate looking women.

So why do short men complain about being overlooked, yet they do the same thing to tall women?

To to all you short men on this site, answer truthfully...have you ever found a tall woman attractive? Would you or have you ever approached one?

View related questions: breasts, has a girlfriend

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2014):

I'm a little late to this party but here's my answer truthfully and I stand just a little over 5'5.

I love tall women like yourself. Your height is beautiful and I find that very attractive. The problem lies in that many tall women seem to have serious issues with that. The vibe I get is that I'm not allowed to be attracted to you because my lack of height doesn't qualify me as a man in your eyes. Plenty of tall ladies get annoyed or feel insulted when a shorter guy shows interest in them. You will also find enough chatter on the web from tall women complaining about short women stealing "their" tall men. Short women are told by tall women to "stick to the shorties," or "leave the tall guys for the tall girls." Tons of online profiles from both short and tall women state very clearly that a guy shouldn't waste his time contacting her unless he's at least 6'0 tall.

How's a short guy to deal with this when at the same time, short women have the same amount of disdain for us? It's not like a lot of tall women are welcoming to shorter guys in the first place. It's a lot worse if you're a shorter guy like me who prefers to date taller women. You get the heels excuse, the not wanting to be the big spoon excuse, the lack of feeling feminine excuse and your ability to make her feel protected and safe is always questioned when you're shorter than her. Short guys also unfairly get the creep stamp too. It happens all the time, mostly from those women who see height as the sole most important feature of a man's attractive qualities.

You may be one of the rare ones who's into shorter guys and I think that's really cool. I wish there were more women like you. You can help your quest by taking the lead and being more proactive by showing a shorter guy that you're interested in him. We are alive and we do exist in this world. So, the next time you see a good looking short guy that makes you feel giddy, don't be afraid to look down, make eye contact and perhaps smile a little.

Would it kill you to say hello too? Give it a try!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2013):

"Could it be that you are attracted only to shorter men because you are fetishing their stature and features?"

Sure, call it a fetish if you like. I suppose you're right since I'm in the minority of women who prefer short men. I don't like to call it that, though, because it makes it sound like there is something wrong with me. I don't think there is. I'm sorry if something I said seems strange to you, but don't judge me. You've probably had some "strange" fantasies yourself.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2013):

I'm surprised you would list men at 5'9" as being short! In the US, 5'7"-5'8" is actually the average male height. 5'9" is the beginning of the tall range. Definitions aside, I am 5 feet, 9.5 inches tall and I would definitely consider asking out a taller female! Height is no issue for me. What matters is that the woman is kind, interesting, believes in herself, and has a pretty face. I once had a very passionate relationship with a woman who was 6 feet tall. We parted ways only because we both had to move for work.

The only thing is, when you say things like, "I love when he wears shorts and I can see his cute little legs", it sounds a little bit strange in my opinion, like you are making a fetish out of his body. Could it be that you are attracted only to shorter men because you are fetishing their stature and features?

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A female reader, Got Issues United Kingdom +, writes (29 August 2013):

Got Issues agony auntI had a male friend at uni who was 5'5"and a total sweetheart, but he was very unlucky with women. He told me once that he thought his problem was that he always fell for tall women who didn't really give him a chance. So if you do like a shorter guy, try to let on. You never know, he might want to ask you out but be worried about being shot down.

I assume the reason short men overlook youis that they have a complex about their height. Society dictates that a guy should be taller than his girl so that he can protect her, so they have to go for girls that are shorter than them. The thing is, it's not easy being a tall girl or a short guy. There will always be people who won't date someone who is too tall or too short for fear of looking silly. It's shallow, but unfortunately it's the way it is.

I'll finish by saying that one of my favourite couples is a friend of mine (male, 5'4") and his girlfriend (5'11"). They are wonderful together and yes, people stare at them, but they could not care less.

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A male reader, rom9 Ireland +, writes (28 August 2013):

I guess I am at the other end of the spectrum. I am generally attracted to taller women me being 5'5". But yes u are right. I rarely approach a taller woman. This is because of getting shot down by them almost every time. Even if u get them to flirt with u, it generally friendly. I guess its ur bane to approach the guys or at least hint them that u can be interested in a guy even if hes short. Too bad u are not in Ireland :)

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy +, writes (28 August 2013):

Anonymous 123 agony auntI'll take this one.

I'm reasonably tall too, I'm around 5'8''. My boyfriend on the other hand is around 5'5" and is quite skinny, whereas I am full figured. And when I wear heels,I look way taller than him.

I've asked him this question a few times, and he says this doesnt bother him one tiny bit. He was the one who approached me, and wanted a relationship. He doesnt mind how short he is or how he looks as compared to me, because while I am far more attractive than him, he's a typical PhD geek with grey hair and doesnt care two hoots about what he wears.

In fact, we got hair cuts today, and while I got a really stylish one, he almost went bald because he just couldn't be bothered to groom his hair while he's busy with work. Yet he wants me to look my best and he loves showing me off.

My point is OP, if a guy who really likes you, he wont care about how tall you are or anything superficial like that. Just like how I love everything about my not-so-perfect boyfriend. :) He's not conventionally tall/dark/handsome but I could never love anyone as much as I love him.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2013):

Hello...

I'm 5'9 and so maybe not who your adressing your questions to..but I guess im on the limit of your preferences so will answer..

I have always had a thing for tall woman. You sound like the kind of size and shape that would be attractive to me. If I liked you, yes I would approach you. I have a couple of short friends who consider themselves to be handsome and have it all going on..I have never ever seen either of them approach a tall woman ...ever!...so I guess that the intimidated theory has some weight.

I don't consider myself to be anything special but I have always been friendly and confident talking to people and do not pre judge people on their height and looks.

I would say that of all the tall women I have approached most have not been interested and I would think this could be something to do with my height..but I did date somebody who was 6'1 and we had a GREAT time...particularly between the sheets...and we never had any issues relating to our size differences.

I wouldn't tell this guy how you feel..not as he's with somebody ..but I'm sure there are a lot of guys out there who,would love to be with you...shame your not in the not here in the UK!

Go out and chat to them...make your fantasies real.

Good luck

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (28 August 2013):

Fatherly Advice agony auntYes you are unusual. I would say that the reason short men don't approach tall women is that continual rejection will do that to a person. I'm in your preferred height range and I have dated precisely 2 women taller than 5'8". Interestingly, in both cases I made the first advance. So yes I found them attractive and yes I approached them. I'm guessing based on my normally reserved personality that they somehow let me know that I had a chance with them.

FA

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