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Shocked he reacted this way! What happened?

Tagged as: The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 June 2010) 9 Answers - (Newest, 8 June 2010)
A female United States age 41-50, *ichelle251 writes:

I've been seeing this guy for almost 6 months. We've gotten close enough to talk about moving in together. Last Friday, I was at his house, we were sitting outside talking. Having a few drinks. He starting asking questions about my past. Anyway...I knew we were headed to unstable ground when we started talking about my ex b/f's. He asked when the last time I had spoke to my ex was. And I was honest and told him it was about a month ago. He told me I needed to get my stuff and leave. I told him i only talked to the guy and I hadn't seen him in over 6 months. He didn't want to talk about it. He wanted me to leave right then. I left. Well.....it's Monday night and I haven't heard anything from him. What does it all mean? It doesn't make much sense to me.

View related questions: my ex

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A female reader, Empressjai United Kingdom +, writes (8 June 2010):

Empressjai agony auntSorry this had to happen to such an honest person but i feel this guy lead you down this path so he could finish things. He was looking for a way out of this living arrangement and he found it. He sounds like a coward and not very emotionally honest.

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A female reader, Myrrh United Kingdom +, writes (8 June 2010):

Myrrh agony auntHi. I wondered, because you said you knew things were heading for unstable ground when he asked about your ex bf's. I thought maybe he had issues in that area. If hes suddenly turned from talking about sharing a home with you, to telling you to leave. Then hes hasnt been honest with you somewhere along the line. If hes never seemed the jealous type before, that cant be why he wanted you to go. Hes either worried things are going too fast so hes bailed out. Or maybe theres someone else. The way he dealt with things sounds like a set up. Trying to make you feel it was your fault seemed important to him. Which is very telling. As hes wasted your time for the last six months, i dont think its unreasonable of you to want an explanation. If he hasnt contacted you in the next day or so, give him a call and ask for one. All the best.

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A female reader, michelle251 United States +, writes (8 June 2010):

michelle251 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

We have never had problems with an ex. In fact, we haven't had any problems at all.

I believe he may have used it for an excuse, because he didn't know how else to end it. I've just never had anything end like that. I believe he owes me an explanation. Something. Just over a week ago we were talking about buying property together.

Such is life...

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A female reader, Myrrh United Kingdom +, writes (8 June 2010):

Myrrh agony auntTo date him for 6 months and be told to leave like that... is very odd. Had there been problems with your ex? Was he bad for you? Had you made a promise not to have any contact with him? You say you could see where things were heading when he started asking questions about your ex's. So im guessing hes had issues with your ex's before. If youve never done anything wrong but hes just the jealous type, then im sure he will come around. If on the other hand, this ex has been a problem. Maybe your bf has had enough and you have been dumped. Its a little difficult to tell because you didnt give any background info.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (8 June 2010):

It means like other people who ask that question, he couldn't handle it. I wouldn't bother with him at all. You did nothing wrong, you were totally honest. I suspect that he probably wanted to end it, but like a coward couldn't so used you as an excuse. Some men and women ask the question because they're insecure. Others ask it because they're looking for perfection. But you can be sure of one thing. Ask that question, and all hell breaks loose. Just don't bother with him.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (8 June 2010):

Laura1318 agony auntI am very sorry that things suddenly veered over the edge for you .

It means he is over with you .He took that excuse to break off with you .

He is too controlling, mean and irrational.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2010):

I'm usually very sympathetic to peoples feelings of jealousy over a partner's past lovers. But this guy is nuts.

You just mentioned TALKING to an ex, and he freaked out? WTF?!?

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A female reader, SillyB United States +, writes (8 June 2010):

SillyB agony auntSounds like he has a bad history of dating someone who was still in touch with an ex - an he's just not willing to put up with it at all. Kina like me going on a date with a guy who said he's going to a strip club for a stag party. AFter being with my ex who liked them, I didn't even give the guy one more second of thought. He sounds like he doesn't want any of that ex drama in his life. He's been there and done that.

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A female reader, raiders United States +, writes (8 June 2010):

raiders agony auntThey ask you to be honest and when you are they act like boys. Men are hard creatures to understand at times, give it time and if he don't returned with an apology than you will know he is not worth your time.

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