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She's upset because I didn't change my FB status, am I in the wrong here?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Family, Online dating, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 February 2014) 5 Answers - (Newest, 1 March 2014)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, *ennny writes:

Thanks for reading - not sure who to ask so going to ask you lovely people :)

I have been on a few dates with a girl - i am 26 and she is 24 and she is very pretty and when we had our first date, we hit it off. She gave me butterflies and to be honest, i usually meet a lot of girls but i just wanted to see her.

I have been seeing her for 2 weeks and soon after she asked me to come off the dating site that we met on - out of respect, i did. I met her mother and she told me that she has a 2 year old son. I am very laid back and i said i don't mind and we have been getting on well. I know that she has been cheated on before and she said she has anxiety issues ( don't know too much about this).

Anyway, i don't really use facebook much but she added me and wanted to put us in a relationship. Now the thing is, i broke up with my ex about a month ago and she is still upset about it all. I have her friends and family on there and i havent really told her i am seeing someone new - i was the one who broke up so i don't want to not tell her because there is feeling - just i know she will be hurt and she had been going through a bad time lately and i don't want to add to that. I said to Summer that i will do it in time - my parents and close friends know about her - but it's only facebook, it's not exactly real life.

She has gone mad and said i must be ashamed of her and i should want everyone to know about her and for them to know i am not single. I just wish she would understand as i did about her son etc.

She said if i don't put it up then she doesn't want to see me and we cant be together ... i'm just trying to do the right thing here and not hurt anyone :(

Am i in the wrong or does this lie with her? thank you

View related questions: broke up, facebook, my ex

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (1 March 2014):

Ciar agony auntTwo weeks and already she's upset and making demands.

Toss this one back. She's very needy, immature and unstable. Do NOT try or agree to remain friends no matter what the sob story.

Big red flag here..

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A female reader, Xx-Scorpio-xX United Kingdom +, writes (28 February 2014):

Xx-Scorpio-xX agony auntI'm going to say the other viewpoint. If i knew my new boyfriend was only not changing a status to protect his ex's feelings, I'd be extremely irritated and hurt.

You broke up, that should be the end of it. you can still be friends, but you shouldn't have to feel bad about dating other girls. If i was your new girlfriend and knew why you wouldn't change your status, I'd assume you were still into her and not wanting to be with me. You talk about your ex's feelings...what about your new girlfriends feelings? you're with her now, so she should be the priority....unless you're still into your ex?

I know that sounds harsh, but it's just my take on it....

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (27 February 2014):

So_Very_Confused agony auntAgreed... if after ONLY two weeks she's blowing up about a silly thing like FACEBOOK... this is not indicative of a mature woman.

facebook is not real life and if a woman can't figure that out and needs to be validated by facebook status, she's not ready to be an adult.

FWIW I am on facebook and my spouse is not. he can't validate my status and yet it still says "married" just not to anyone.

IF she wanted her status to say "in a relationship" that's fine... it's not about bragging who she's with as much as saying SHE is off the market.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (27 February 2014):

Tisha-1 agony auntRun, Forest, run! As fast as you can.

She has issues and you are not prepared to deal with them at all.

Best wishes.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (27 February 2014):

Honeypie agony auntYikes, you have been DATING for 2 weeks and she is flipping out over your FACEBOOK status? Seriously?

And she is DEMANDING you change you status? Wow, what's next? You have to remove ANYONE connected to your ex? Or dye your hair purple?

Sorry, she sounds insecure and controlling two really unpleasant things in a partner. Are you sure she is for you?

Summer is a while away, so while I understand she WANTS you to yell to the WORLD that you are with her, I think once you two are a little more established, maybe 3-4 months? Something like a status can be changed.

Now, I DO understand that your generation LIVE on Facebook (specially females) but I think it's outrageous that she is making DEMANDS this early on.

Drama-llama is first thing that comes to mind..

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