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She's the woman of my dreams, but I can't ask her out on Facebook, can I?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 February 2011) 6 Answers - (Newest, 4 January 2012)
A male Ireland age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Okay, this is quite a difficult thing to explain, but I'll try.

- I have been single for a good while now. I'm currently 20, and haven't had a girlfriend in about 18 months. This never really bothered me too much and I was pretty happy, up until this past September when two of my college classes, were also attended by the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. I didn't get to know her very well, I'm a shy enough guy, and like to stick to my own group of friends. I was pretty intimidated to approach her, as she would always be surrounded by four or five of her own friends. I kept hoping that one day she'd turn up to class and they wouldn't, but it never happened.

December rolled around, and the semester, and classes, ended. I don't have any classes with her this semester, and indeed, may never have another with her, and I've been kicking myself non-stop for not swallowing my pride and trying to approach her.

Yesterday, while on Facebook, in the "People You May Know" box, her face popped up. I clicked her profile, and found that she recently ended a relationship - I don't know how long it had lasted, I just know it ended.

I desperately want to get in contact with her, but I doubt she's more than marginally aware I exist - and I also don't want to come across badly to her and give the wrong impression. I'm also not sure if it's really kosher to ask out a girl on Facebook... or how long I should wait, because I don't want to seem like I'm trying to pounce on her while she's vulnerable.

Physically, she's pretty much the woman of my dreams, and it seems we share a few common interests, especially in music and TV. I really think there's a chance I could get somewhere with her... but this whole thing of asking out someone who you barely know, on Facebook, just after she's left a relationship... it just seems like there's something wrong there, but I have no other way to contact her.

Any advice as to what I should do would be infinitely appreciated.

Thank you.

View related questions: facebook, shy, swallow

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A female reader, kazzer2k9 United Kingdom +, writes (4 January 2012):

kazzer2k9 agony auntit might be a good idea if u dont see her much but if u do see her it would be better to ask her out face to face cos then she knows that you can talk to each other. my ex asked me out through facebook and gradually i found out he had been talking to his friends on facebook

hope this helps xxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hi guys, thanks for all the replies thus far.

Cerberus, unfortunately she's not in my course. I just had a couple of classes with hr for a few months. I had hoped to do exactly what you described when I returned to uni in January, only to find she wasn't actually in my course and that our two courses had merely had a slight overlap.

Nevertheless I appreciate all the advice, and will send her a friend request and try to get to know her a little bit better before I ask her out.

Thanks folks!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2011):

Honestly, I say go for it. Ask yourself this...if she had been eyeing YOU all this time, and saw your pic on FB, wouldnt you want her to add you? Of course you would. You'd be flattered.

Dont cut yourself down so much, and realize you're a guy with a lot to offer any woman you meet. Add her as a friend, and take it from there. Talk to her a few times a week, see how it goes.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2011):

Have you added her on facebook yet? If not do that soon. She's in your course so it wouldn't be weird.

You can pretty much take it from there. Start chats about due assignments asking questions etc and just start getting to know her that way. That way you can get to know her a bit first and get a feel for what her story is.

I wouldn't just up and ask her out on facebook without getting to know her a bit first.

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A female reader, Thatsmynamexxx United Kingdom +, writes (28 February 2011):

You should really ask her out , if you don't soon she might get with someone else? Plus it's okaii to ask her out on facebook , that's how me and my boyfriend started to get to know each other and now we've been goin out for a long time .... Anyway..!! I say you should go for it ! Befor it's too late ! Xxxx

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A female reader, Inutashy United States +, writes (28 February 2011):

Inutashy agony auntSend her a MSG saying you saw her at school n noticed on fb u got some stuff in common and mayb you should catch a movie as friends. You should be friends before hand, and that way you can avoid asking out on fb

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