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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My gf and i have been dating for 4 months. We have had sex a few times, and well, she is loud. really loud. Every time she reaches climax she wakes the whole street, never mind our parents. Its really embarrassing, her parents may think I'm abusing her. She has also for the first time squirted. Its getting worse in the bedroom. I love her but i hate her when having sex with her.Does anyone have any tips that i can pass on to her to keep quiet?Could this be the end of our relationship?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2011): OP, Your post made me smile...I've got to agree with Cgrant...no matter how annoying it is at this moment, you likely will be faced with a partner later life who is a mute in bed and find yourself asking her, "Did you come yet?" because you honestly can't tell. It's a real blessing not to have to ask that question.
If you think she's being needlessly theatrical and her yelling isn't natural, then it's different story. Apart from gagging her, all you can really do is have a heart to heart about the noises she makes. She either thoroughly enjoys what you do to her, or she gets off on letting everyone else in your neighborhood knowing about how great her sex life is. Talk to her and find out which one it is.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2011): It seems to me that you both have very different preferences, also that you are careful about others around you including those older that you like parents and that is a good trait. Don't make a big deal about it but do tell her that while you don't believe sex should be hidden - it is important to not get socially off side with other people especially parents.
Ask her to please put a pillow in her mouth to stiffle the sound - she can always make this part of the fun, but quietly.
There is no reason for it to be the end of the relationship unless she has character traits that are not desirable.
Perhaps she justs needs you to show her how to be a little bit of a lady in certain circumstances and she can always let her raunchy side out when and if it's appropriate. You are both young.
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female
reader, FluffyPie  +, writes (7 May 2011):
 Use duck-tape. No seriously. There are all sorts of expressing pleasure... she's the loud one. I, as a woman, am very ninja when it comes to expressing how awesome I feel. When I reach orgasm - I just start to breathe heavily and that's kind of it. I think you should tell her, but don't make a tragedy out of it, because she might get the wrong idea (that she turns you off, she's not good enough blah blah). Just tell her "damn we're so loud we could use a soundproofing room".
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2011): Dont take that for granted OP, the loudness. At least you're getting some, and not having to pay for it. That's a HUGE compliment she's giving you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2011): I know what you mean. I am a lesbian and I have made the ladies scream and forget all about the men once they found me! So here's the thing: Just TALK to her. I know it might seem awkward, but just say to her, "we gotta try to keep it down - the neighbors don't need to know every time we're together." Perhaps you could say something like that. That's the kind of thing I say and nobody seemed upset or offended. Just let her know you are happy to please her but you would like a liiiitle privacy and let's try to keep the noise down a little. It can be difficult, because some women enjoy their orgasm more if they can express it. Tell her if she needs to, she can stifle the sound with a blanket or her pillow. (But let HER do it!)
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (7 May 2011):
 I get that this is awkward. But for your future reference, she is giving you amazing, wonderful feedback. You may very well find yourself in the future with another girl wondering if it worked for her at all. Revel in the feedback you're getting, because she's telling you in the best possible way that what you're doing is working for her.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (7 May 2011):
 Hahaha, I am sure your parents aren't thinking you are torturing her, you'd wish. They know perfectly well what you are getting at.
Give it to her straight up: "Darling, you're loud, and wake up the neighborhood and my parents. Next time we have sex, would you mind keeping the volume down?"
It's not harder than that. It will be the end of the relationship if you are afraid to talk to her about such a minor issue! How can you be comfortable being completely naked with her and exchanging bodily fluids, yet you are not willing to tell her she needs to be quiet? To the point where you rather break it off than just tell her the simple truth?
Don't complicate your life or relationships. Communicate. Communication is after all one of the corner stones of a relationship, and now you see why.
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