A
male
age
22-25,
*rymlocke666
writes:Hell. . .Yea. Someone congratulate me. Shake my hand. A pat on the back? I'm finally over my ex girlfriend. No more sleepless nights wondering what she's doing at the hour. No more wishful thinking of her holding my hand. No more missing us drinking a cup of juice by sharing a straw. No more aching for my bed to be filled by two and not accompanied by one. I'm finally REALLY ACTUALLY UNDOUBTFULLY OVER HER.It all started two nights ago. Just when I thought I couldn't survive this break-up anymore and was about to beg her to give me another chance, an angel in the form of a friend called that very second. My friend asked if she could spend the night with me because her boyfriend was acting like a total jerk. At first, I really did not want another female companion (besides my ex) to share my private space with me. I was definitely not looking forward to her being on my ex's side of the bed (I have one bed, one room and I was not sleeping on the floor).I caved in and gave shelter to a friend in need. She came over and immediately told me how much of a jerk her boyfriend was. Apparently he's pissed that she got fired and he thinks that all the bills are on him now and that she's putting no effort into looking for another job. He told her if she's not helping then she's not needed. What an ass-face. Well, I agreed to let her sleep in my bed. . .with me (I'm NOT sleeping on the floor). At first it was wierd. I was still thinking of my ex and how wrong it was to have my friend in her spot. For some odd reason it hurt to think that I was replaceing her, even though we broke up.But something happened at that moment. I don't know what came over me. I'm not sure what I was hoping for at that time. But I knew I was in a lot of pain and my friend apparently was as well. I turned around and asked her if I could try something with her. She was reluctant at first but said "OK" in the end. I moved myself closer to her and wrapped my right arm around her torso (This is the position me and my ex does a lot). She didn't seem suprise. Infact she turned toward me and wiggled herself closer. I knew what was happening, what was about to happen. And I knew I didn't want to stop it. Long story short. We made out that night and she left around 11 the next morning.Ok, now here's the problem. She's already taken. I know she can't be mines nor do I want her to be. I accidentally made her my rebound chick. I thought it would be one night of us forgetting the pain that was caging our hearts. But it turned out to be me setting her up as my rebound girl. I was in the wrong. I made the first move but she ALLOWED me. I don't think she knows I'm using her for that. She knows that I just broke up with my ex but she doesn't know how serious the after-effect was for me. As far as she's concerned, I was just consoling her of her pain.Now I'm definitely closer to my friend after that night. It's a good thing because I don't get depressed anymore when I think of my ex. I don't feel like crying everytime my ex's face pops into my head. But I also don't want my friend to know I'm using her for the rebound. Is it harmless to use her for that? I've never had a rebound chick before. Should I tell her? Should I keep it a secret? How serious does a rebound get? Is it a rebound if only one person knows about it? She has a boyfriend. Should I just go back to being regular friends? I don't want to start thinking of my ex anymore. I like it better this way. Even if my friend doesn't like me that way, I'm still happier not thinking of my ex.
View related questions:
broke up, depressed, ex girlfriend, has a boyfriend, my ex, she has a boyfriend Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 + ♥, writes (5 September 2009):
 What makes you think she wasn't using you for a comforter?
She didn't mind because she was hurting and lonely and you were hurting and lonely; and both of you needed some loving, even if it was for a little while.
I think she cared enough to hold onto you to give you some peace, and she needed a little peace in her mind too.
There's nothing wrong with hugging your friends. Sometimes, just sometimes things work out.
I don't think cuddling one night in the heat of desperation equals rebound love.
I will say that you were quite fortunate to have a nice person that you trust snuggle up with you in your loneliness and make it all right for you.
If anything, you should be thankful that she trusted you too.
|
