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She's married we had an affair ended things but is it really over?

Tagged as: Cheating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 July 2019) 2 Answers - (Newest, 20 February 2020)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

The girl I feel in love with is 6 years younger than me. We were best friends before anything. i had been in two different relationships and we would discuss and vent to one another. She also had a bf at the time. We were best friends. Brother/Sister relationship. About 4 years ago we experienced that we had something for one another. in 2016 we confessed our feelings. We kissed and made a instant connection. With all these feelings she then was engaged. We put a stop to it. I didn't want to the the one to ruin a relationship. So we stopped after we had shown one another intimacy. it was all over and remained friends. She was finally married, to a Dr. and moved away. We had no communication from one another. There was not a day or moment that i would not think of her.i knew she was the one who got away but life moves on. Some strange reason i was going through some stuff and she reached out. We hit it off, slowly of course, very careful with our words, careful with our feelings. A year ago we met up and that when i became a cheater and she had her affair with me. Everything was great and we both new that we couldn't stop thinking of one another. We hit it off and stayed in communication everyday. We were in love and inseparable. we would do anything for one another. we expressed our love. it became difficult when she would be on vacations and that when i knew this was not going to be easy.

She claimed she was not intimate with him, and him being a doctor she always had time for herself. i eventually caught her lying. I tried to walk away multiple times and we would allow one another. she told me she and i had a miscarriage. for whatever reason that kept us faith and hope. Until her husband found out. at the end sh chose her husband over me because it was the right thing to do. i am the one to cause a marriage and since then i ruined her life. i hope to one day be forgiven just hurts that everything we had now seems like it was a lie, fake, as if i was her trail run for her marriage, extra insurance plan, and her backbone until she was caught. her support system of hidden secrets. A nightmare that i always tried to make it shine. Has anyone ever been in this situation and does it really end? We both do not have kids however she is married and i am in a relationship only not married.

View related questions: affair, best friend, engaged

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A male reader, Gmelin8 United States +, writes (20 February 2020):

She is just using you for sex. That's OK if you understand your risks. What if she gets pregnant? What if her husband becomes violently jealous towards you? Are you wasting your time that my be better spent looking for your true love. She's the one who has marriage contract obligations.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (10 July 2019):

Fatherly Advice agony auntAnd that folks is yet another steaming example on the pile of proof, that there is no such thing as other sex friends.

Thanks for the illustration Side piece. To answer your question there is one very sure way to end your trouble. Go talk to her husband about it.

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