A
male
age
41-50,
*razer
writes:Please help I've never been this low in my life.My partner of 13 years has just dropped the bombshell she does not love me any more. She was 17 when we met, I was 21. For about the past two years she has been going out with friends from her work at the weekends, which was fine with me as I thought I was doing the right thing. (I have a phobia about pubs clubs drunk people ect..) I am moving into a wee flat in a few weeks.... Because I don't go out a lot I have very few friends.I have never felt this frightend in my life, we have a 9 year old so I will see my ex on a regular basis.How can I forget her and move on?. Will I ever find a companion again? I cant see a future for me any more someone please help me get through this.Thanks G.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (18 March 2007):
 First of all you need to go and get help for your phobia. You are young and you should be enjoying life just now. You have the ability to do anything you want to and this involves interacting with people. Do you want to be a hermit for the rest of your life? If you do then you're well on your way but only YOU can change things, there's no magic pill or potion that will make this go away.
You have a mind, your feelings come from your mind therefore you can control your feelings. In other words, YOU are in charge and nobody else. YOU determine the future. And you become what you THINK.
Have a look at the links I've given you, the first one is a download you can buy for round about a fiver. Well worth the money I think. Looking at these links is the first step to overcoming your phobia...
http://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/downloads/phobias_fears/social_phobia.html
http://www.content.onlypunjab.com/Article/Social-Phobia-And-Social-Anxiety/4200320092003272014
I've also given you a link to 36 different self help groups, hopefully one of them will be in your area. Talking to people with the same problem as you helps tremendously.
http://www.social-anxiety.org.uk/groups/list.htm
The hardest part will be the going along there. Call them up, find out more about what's involved and take the first step to turning your life around. This will help you too in getting over your ex. What do you have to lose....?
Eve
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