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She was the perfect girl but we weren't compatible in bed... What now?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 June 2006) 5 Answers - (Newest, 23 June 2006)
A male , *-williams writes:

Hi. I met a wonderful girl. She is perfect! We both dated a few times and when we are not together we miss each other. We both told each other how much we both love being with each other and that we are perfect together! Sorry - but it's true!! Then we went to bed and it was a disaster! We tried a few different times but we just didn't get it right. Everything else was perfect other than that. We both agreed that we should just be friends. But now I'm hurting and so upset - I miss her, I can't think about anything else other than her. We ar freinds and we ring each other occassionally. But, should I remain friends - if she meets someone else I don't know what I will be like. And should I tell her how I feel, though scared I will lose her as a friend. I love her so much. Help!!!

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A male reader, a-williams +, writes (23 June 2006):

a-williams is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for all your answers. I've spoken to her, but she wants to just remain friends. I've tried several times now. I don't want to lose her as a friend so I think I need to accept that we are not meant to be (no matter how much it hurts me). I need to move on (yes, it's easier said than done!).

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A female reader, Wendyg United Kingdom +, writes (23 June 2006):

Wendyg agony auntAre you sure it was that oh so perfect, when all it failed on was the sex, you tried it didnt like and thought nah lets be friends... whats all that about ?? Sex is a two way street and it doesnt just happen, it can take time and effort to find out what makes each other tick, vary it, spice it up, ... did you try to found out why you both didnt think it was working ? Was the position all wrong ? Did you not turn each other on ? I can appreciate that we are not all sexually compatible, but to give up just like that is a bit odd if everything else was so perfect, if that were the case why not try harder to get the sex better!!!? I mean the more you do something the better you become and the more fun you have trying along the way... Get back in touch and see if you cant both get back together going out messing around with each other and experimenting... seems a real shame to throw something away that sounded so beautiful, when all it would have taken was some effort!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2006):

I must say I agree with the others, this seems rather premature... You can definitely work on the sex. Quite often the first time with a new partner will be awkward until you get comfortable with each other. I'd say give it another dozen tries before you give up!!!

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A female reader, shania United Kingdom +, writes (22 June 2006):

shania agony auntd4u04 is right....all because the 1st time you had sex it didn't make the earth move didn't mean that you should of ended it with your girlfriend.They say...practise makes perfect so just keep experimenting and see what really turns you on.Sex books and videos on love making should help...So go on...give her a call today!

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A male reader, d4u04 United Kingdom +, writes (22 June 2006):

d4u04 agony aunti don't think ending it was the right descision purely based on bad sex, sex is something you can work on by... you guessed it... comminication, just talk about what turns you on, what you would like to do, or for her to do to you, etc. if you really believe this person is perfect for you then don't let this ruin the relationship, sex shouldn't be a chore and it seems like you are turning it into one, just talk and relax, it will sort itself out

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