A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This happened few years back. I am a kind of person who believes in one love for life(regular Indian thought). I met her in office. At first, I didnt even noticed her. I was workaholic. But I see her everyday, my talk was till wishing her near cafeteria, as our wings in office where different.One day I was not having any work. So I was sitting in the waiting room. Coincidentally she was there and just for killing time we started talking and by the end of the day I started liking her. I had friends in collage but, She was just different. she was open minded and jovial in nature. She is nowhere near to my expectation of a girl I dreamt off. Sure she is not beautiful. But something about her is. May be some magic of love itself.In next few days I expressed my feeling to her. Unfortunately she said she is in love with someone(raj) and she is going to propose soon. Yet, She said she will think and slowly things changed.She always said she is still thinking. But She use to fight with me if I don't message or wish her in the morning and night. and also if I don't call her at-least once in an hour. I was so happy and she was the only girl in my mind. I just didn't care about any other girl. I even stopped watching porn. It didn't interest anymore. Sitting by her side, talking to her was enough to me. For around 6 months I used to sleep for hardly 1-2hrs. Messages in the morning and All night we use to talk.Our conversations slowly became more romantic. We both had lot of romance too. Every where possible. I never thought I would go to such an extent with a girl before marriage. She is the only girl I kissed and wanted to spend my whole life with. I was ready to marry her, the moment she says yes to me.In mean while she used to talk about marring more than one person. I thought she was just kidding or teasing me. She said she cant live without me. There where lot of situations, where she spent in my room. But I never took advantage to have sex, as she never said her opinion about marring me. I kept the relation till romance only and waited for her answer. I did'nt want her to face any awkward situation if she choose not to stay with me. She always says, she loves the way I am, how I talk, and how I make her laugh, romance etc. I thought she in confusion and at some point in future she will marry me.She gave complete access to her and all her online email etc accounts. I used to maintain her accounts too. As she was busy with new project in the office. She stopped talking slowly and completely, in about a 4days period. I didnt want to think anything negative about her. So I thought she was busy working. A month passed still no frequent calls/messages or replies, she used to send no matter what. So I wanted to know what is wrong with her. and I checked her emails. I saw a email in her account. which was sent a month back to Raj. In which she was talking about sex etc. I was in shock. I quickly started checking the sent history. To my surprise she was in relation with him. email history went to months before I Proposed her.To my shocking When I opened another email account of her there was this email, which was not delivered for some reason. In that she was talking to john about the time she spent with him yesterday in a hotel. Thats it. I asked her about all of it over phone. she said nothing. I even asked her to forget all about this and marry me. Instead she started blaming me saying, I spoiled her life. I dont know how I spoiled.I had no words with such a response. I left a better job opportunity and high salary just to stay with her in the same office. I canceled a marriage proposal my parents chose for me. I spent a month of sleep less night when she stopped talking to me, with a simple message saying "I dont want to talk to you anymore". Being a male I cried over night and was sad whole day(In India most of the time male dont show tears it is a sign of weakness). In my whole life I never cried but she made me experience the worst sadness and heat pain of my life and made me cry. I used to be happy and smile a lot before. Now I cant much.I now dont know how to trust a girl. I am unable to forget her completely. Her thoughts cross my mind at least once in a month now. I really want to move on. But because of stress and strain I ignored without sleeping for 6 months(Time i spent to talk to her overnights)+ 1 Month after she stopped talking to me. My health took a bad hit. And a accident made me stick to the wheel chair. Its been 5years now.My question is Why she did "what she did"? She never answered this question. She was my world. Why she played with my emotions, feelings and my Heart? She could have said no to me and I would have found someone else. or I would have been happy. Now after having such a relation with her. How can I marry another girl, who might be expecting her as the only female in my life. I wanted my wife to be my girlfriend or my girlfriend to be my wife. Now I'll have 2 females. one from past and may be one in future.
View related questions:
move on, my ex, period, porn, teasing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2015): I may be wrong, and I'm in the USA so I don't know about Indian relationships, but maybe she was looking for your relationship to get physical more quickly and got bored and moved on.
She is gone. Move on yourself. Get out there and meet new women. Best of luck!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2015): you are living a life full of unrealistic expectation a n d reality keeps getting in the way.Its time to rethink your ideas.You knew she was involved with someone else and yet you chose to increase the intensity of your relationship.Ok this is not a crime but you didnt really know this person as well as you thought you did.You pigeon holed her into being a perfect person and she wasnt , but then neither is anyone else. The accident that put you in a wheelchair is more of a pivotal event.Is there likely to be any recovery? Anyone you meet in the future will need to be a comoassionate person as you may have some lasting disability, so it is unlikely that they will be particularly concerned about someone who was technically an office romance.Maybe it might be a good idea to not tell anyone new about this if,but,and maybe romance, because in your mind it was a big deal,but in the mind of the woman it wasnt very important.She was not the type of woman you would want to marry as she is too unreliable and probably wasnt even interested in marrying.I would try to move on by making sure you really know enough about the person of your dreams, rather than spinning a fantastical web around them of who and what you think they are.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2015): Please anyone answer. Be as frank and straight as you can. I want to understand why all this happened to me.
...............................
A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (1 September 2015):
 She liked the attention and ego boost. This woman was insecure as f***. She couldnt accept her mistake and blamed you which is a big sign of immaturity. Also I get the sense you placed her on a pedestal. Ive done this. Its a huge mistake because then you decrease your own value and become less dominant in the process. Think bad stuff about her it will help you move on.
...............................
|
