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She wants to know why I am sexually attracted to her?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 January 2011) 11 Answers - (Newest, 13 January 2011)
A female United States age 36-40, *inger2u writes:

My girlfriend asked me why I am sexually and physicall attracted to her. I was at a lost for words. What do I say?

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (13 January 2011):

dirtball agony auntHey TimmD, the OP is a woman too.

"Honey, I'm attracted to your mind, body and soul! I can't pick out any one thing, because they can't compare to the whole package."

You need to practice your cheesy smooth talk OP. LOL

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A female reader, largentsgirl89 United States +, writes (13 January 2011):

largentsgirl89 agony auntI asked my bf that same question and he said, "I'm not with you for sex or because I view you as a sexual object. I'm with you because I love who you are and how you try. I love the mother you are to our children. I love that you are so caring and have such a gentle soul and I love to show that love to you."

Kinda sappy, but hey, it works for me. Love that man. Just tell her why she is attractive to you, that's what she wants to know by the sounds of it.

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A male reader, TimmD United States +, writes (13 January 2011):

TimmD agony auntI think everyone is taking the OP's question too literally. It's not that he doesn't know why he's attracted to her, it's the fact that she asked the question in the first place. When a girl asks this question to her partner, it really puts him in a tough position. For one, it usually means she's got lower self esteem... and two, it usually means she's not going to believe what he tells her anyway.

Guys and girls don't fall in love specifically for one reason. You're not sexually attracted to your girlfriend because she has brown hair. Or because her hair is brown. Or because you like the shape of her nose, etc. It's a package thing. You love your girlfriend and you are sexually attracted to her because she's her. That's why it's an unfair question to ask a guy.

But after everything I just said, it doesn't matter. In the end you need to just compliment your girlfriend. Tell her you are sexually attracted to her because you think she is incredibly beautiful. If she asks why you find her beautiful (which is also a question stemming from low self esteem and is very unfair to ask) you tell her she has the most gorgeous eyes, and an incredible smile. You can compliment her body, but beware - many women are self conscious about their body, even if there's nothing wrong with it. Be prepared to think fast. And be prepared to make her see that YOU are attracted to her and YOU love these things about her. It doesn't matter if she feels she doesn't look as good as other girls. It's her you like, not those other girls.

Girls have to understand, there is no simple "checklist" as to why we are attracted to you.

And guys have to understand that girls need to be complimented. Early and often. Us guys don't care as much about hearing compliments and some guys don't realize that girls need to hear good things from their partners.

Good luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011):

Is this your first relationship with a woman? Did you describe yourself as "bisexual" when you met her?

She may be asking you to defend your affection to her, because she doubts it on some level. She may be trying to make you demonstrate that you are in fact attracted to her and prove that you are a lesbian.

If this is the sense you have, she is probably trying to find out if this is "just a phase" for you. Lesbians in general don't like being someone's expiremental phase. I have made this mistake before.

If this is not the case, then you should proceed with flattering her.

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A female reader, largentsgirl89 United States +, writes (13 January 2011):

largentsgirl89 agony auntWell, what is it about her that makes her sexually attractive to you? Be honest. Could be anything, body parts or something deeper like her soul?

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (13 January 2011):

CindyCares agony aunt You reminded of me a very old joke :)

it goes more or less like this :

John's girlfriend : "John ,do my hair look like golden silk threads spun by the hand of a fairy ? "

John "Yes "

Girlfriend : " And, do my eyes remind you of two deep emerald pools reflecting the light of one thousand stars ? "

John "Yes"

Girlfriend, sighing happy " Oh John, you may have your flaws.. but you sure know how to talk to a woman ! "

Tell her the truth ! You must have found in her at least some traits that appealed to you phisically- otherwise you'd be with someone else . What was it, her voice, the scent of her skin, her lips, her eyes... something.

If you really can't pinpoint any particular feature, just tell her : everything. Everything in her just drives you crazy with lust. Head to toe. Generic, but should go down well anyway.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011):

You should really know what it is about her you find sexually and physically attractive....if you do! If you couldnt come up with anything at the time, she might feels its a bit contrived if you tell her things now. As if you had to think about it first, which isnt flattering. So i would let it go for now but she wont! When the subject is brought up again, be ready with a genuine answer. Or you will really be in the doghouse!! My partner listed my eyes as a major turn on during a quiz on what the most attractive things are about the partner. That and an 'air' of sex appeal. He got a high score for those answers. More so than if he had said my butt. So keep in mind its not just body parts you should be attracted to but the face and personality too.

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A female reader, ginger2u United States +, writes (13 January 2011):

ginger2u is verified as being by the original poster of the question

It seems like an easy question to answer. However, we have yet to have sex. I huess I was kind of caught off guard by it. I don't want to say the wrong thing. Don't get me wrong, I want to have sex, but we are separated by states right now. I love her very much, I just don't know how to respond.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (13 January 2011):

Honeypie agony auntI don't know... Her mind, her body, her soul? You really had nothing to say?.............

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011):

You need to ask??? Sorry, I'm just thinking about the time it has taken you to 'think' about asking this question on DC, then actually posting the question.

You must surely know what you find sexually attractive about her. Say what you feel.

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A female reader, petina1 United Kingdom +, writes (13 January 2011):

petina1 agony auntThere's someone for everyone on this planet, Hey guess what 'She got lucky'.... Good Luck!

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