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She wants 'space"..but I love her and I miss her badly. What can I do?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 November 2006) 6 Answers - (Newest, 24 July 2008)
A male , anonymous writes:


Well about a month ago my EX told me she wanted some space to find herself,… now we have been dating for 2 years and everything was fine, no problems no fights nothing everyone looked up to us and said we were perfect and all. And to tell you the truth everyone envied us. We went on long trips together to Europe and Mexico and Cuba. LIKE I said nothing was wrong then she dropped the bomb saying she wants space. So I was like what the hell... as in I was wondering why? I let her do anything she wants as long as she never chatted on me, I would jump in front of a car for her. SPACE....? SO it's been like 6 weeks now and I only seen her 2 times and for those 2 times I was upset. Crying, I’m sorry but I love her, and I am emotional. I do text her and call her to say whets going on and see if she’s alive. Her family calls me and loves me to death. And the bottom line is we were talking about going further with our relationship and I did put a down payment down but this happen. I love her and don't want her to leave me. If it's space then sure. But if not then what the hell? i'm 28 and shes 25. PLEASE HELP. I DON'T WANT HER TO GO. lets say we were ment to betogether. PLEASE HELP

View related questions: my ex, text

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A male reader, SpurgeSpam United States +, writes (24 July 2008):

I have been in your place and the only thing you can do is give her space. It sucks because you miss her, but trying to force the issues will only cause more issues. Call her once in a while to let her know you are there, but try to keep your spaces separated. If it is gonna be,it is gonna be, if not....Sad to hear it but you are better off finding out now.

Best of luck

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2007):

Give her space as annoying as that is...

Wait and see what happens. Im in same situation im still waiting and waiting and waiting...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2007):

I'm in the same boat right now. We're both 26. We bought a place together 6 months ago and now she says she wants space. She says there is no spark. We've been together for 4 years and I am completely cut up about this. I'm trying not to show it too much, although when she came out with this I was clearly very emotional.

I think I have no option but to let her have the space she needs, problem is we live together and share a bed! I am finding it so hard to deal with - I just don't know what to do. I can't stand the thought of losing her. Do I offer to go to stay with my folks for a while? or just give her space at home? help!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2007):

well i can see where youre coming from, im in the same situation only i think my ex is a lil more truthful. weve been together for a year now and recently weve had a few fights and what not. she broke it off with me and was asking for space, im 23 and shes 20. the whole reason why she wanted space is so she can see what else is out there, as in she wants to date other guys. personally im really cut about this. theres nothing i can do. in my case if she goes off and does this she never really loved me cos i dont believe u can love someone and feel the need to be with another. so if this happens itll be the end of us, i tell her that im ok with it and i understand where shes coming from but the truth of the matter is doing that is just like me giving her permission to cheat on me. it doesnt work like that. sorry if this didnt totally answer your question but i needed to vent thax

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A reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (17 November 2006):

I Dont Lie agony auntYou know, I have a very strong feeling that shes getting bored of the relationship. Can u imagine a relationship without occasional fights, disagreements, make up conversations, etc? (Of course you can cause uve been through it yourself!). I know this sounds harsh but when a ladys interest in you drops that low, theres only one way shes gonna go, out! When she said she needs space, shes actually telling you to leave her alone, that she wants her freedom again, she wants to feel the thrill of being in love again!

Its not too late though to patch things up seeing you guys had been going out for 2 years now (in this case, the time factor is on your side!), although there isnt much you can do at this stage as the ball is her court. You will need to give her that 'space' she asks for. In that I mean leaving her alone, no contacting, and show her that you are moving on with or without her. You might argue that well, if you do this, she might let u go for good because she'll think that you dont care about her. All I can say is dont worry, she DOES know that you still care for her and theres only so much times you can profess it to her, more than that and youre bugging her and you really dont wanna do that!! Im not claiming that she'll come back to you, so start trying to have that mindset that she wont be coming back to you and you'll have a better chance of playing your cards right from now on! And in the event that you guys do get back together, try keeping her on her toes, just like when you first started wooing her!

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A female reader, Beachblonde11 +, writes (17 November 2006):

Beachblonde11 agony auntOK OK OK, calm down calm down i've been through this exact situtation! i took a break from my bf for 2 days and trust me over those 2 days i may not have shown it but i missed him soooooo much and yes he text me and called and eventually i knew he would do anything an deverything worked out... so all i can say is keep in touch but don't bug her you need to let her know that you still love her but not totally obssesed! trust me it will work out let me know how it goes! Good Luck!

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