A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Quick question for the guys. And unfortunately this has happened to me so thats why im asking. What would you do if you recently started dating a girl that you really liked and she really liked you back and during a conversation she told you that her last boyfriend was bigger than you and was circumsized (im not) and it looked better than yours? Ill also throw in that she said mine was good but that it would be better if i was circumsized. Oh and im average size im not small by any means.
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male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (27 April 2011):
 Well, as genital mutilation is on the table, you might say that you'd rather that she has a a labia reduction "so it doesn't look so dangly. Oh, and then quit the relationship of course as this one is permanently damaged. In future don't ask questions that you don't want the answers to.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2011): It's pretty much as I expected. OP the "what you don't/do like about me" game is pretty silly game to play. It very often turns out like this.
She didn't just straight out say it and in the context of what you were talking about she was just giving you her honest opinion. One which you will find very common among American girls, so common in fact that she probably didn't think it a big deal to just say it. Insensitive, yes. Intentionally hurtful, I very much doubt it.
Nothing she has said means that she's not satisfied nor likes your penis, so don't worry about that. Insensitive or not don't assume that from what she said. We guys are more than just a penis and if she wasn't happy with the whole package including your willy then she wouldn't be with you.
As for immaturity OP I think you both need to do a bit of growing up, truth or dare and things like that may seem fun to play, they may seem harmless but they very often lead to trouble. I once told a girl that I prefer women that shave their arm pits (she didn't). I got into a tonne of crap for that one and it was simply the same kind of thing you and your girl are doing.
It only takes one wrong word to give someone a complex about something, or even highlight something they're already insecure about and make it worse.
OP you both need to stop playing with fire in this one. You need to look past her comments, they mean nothing and have no bearing on anything. You asked she told, you got burned by the game you played not the player.
You're both young and she's definitely inexperienced, so let this one slide. Let her know that comparisons with her ex are an area you don't want to go into again and just don't go there. Also let her know how serious and issue penis envy can become for us guys. We really never want our girlfriends to ever compare our penis to their former lovers, especially if we even get the hint that their ex's was better. I mean how would she like if you said you preferred your ex's labia, that they were cleaner and less flappy?
Stop playing these kind of games dude, they're very "middle school". You'll find out these things naturally as the relationship progresses (likes and dislikes) just stay away from the ex comparisons and the silly truth or dare childish stuff.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell we we just talking on the phone and we were asking eachother dumb questions like what do you like/ dont like about me anc such and she asked what i would change about her and i asked the same. at first she said a few dumb things like me shaving or that i have hairy toes (i dont she was just playing around) but then she went out and said that it would be nice if i was circumsized because they look nicer and are cleaner. shes only been with me and this last guy (thats what shes told me)so im guessing that shes comparing it to mine. as far as the being bigger part thats also how i found out, by asking eachother questions like that.
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A
female
reader, la negra +, writes (27 April 2011):
As a female, I think that's f'cked up, if you asked her to tell you or not. If my boyfriend had the nerve to tell me his last girlfriend's ass was fatter than mine, I would be out looking for a new boyfriend. She seems like she doesn't give a f*ck about your feelings like at all. Why is she comparing her ex man's d*ck to yours like she still has feelings for him or is f*cking someone else?? I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude if I am. I just think there are lines that shouldn't be crossed when it comes to speaking of exes. And personally, my boyfriend isn't circumsized either and I LOVE it.
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A
male
reader, Maverickjuniper +, writes (26 April 2011):
Buddy, the way I see it is this way and anyone can tell me I am wrong if they choose to;
Like you said, you like her, she likes you. Regardless of how you look or feel or whatever, it should not matter. If it does end up being a deal breaker, which it doesn't sound like it will, then things would have never worked out because rather than focusing on the intellectual and emotional aspect of a relationship she is focusing on the physical side of things. While sex and affection is needed in a relationship I dont think that the lacking of anything in that dept with matter.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2011): OP did you ask her to tell you this, directly or indirectly? Because if you did then she was just being honest and while not tactful that is a good thing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2011): It's America, I'd say dump her but then you're going to have dump a lot of girls after her for the same thing seeing as a lot of American women think circumcised looks better. Some girls just like the look of a penis that has been mutilated shortly after birth.
If she said it straight out without prompting then she's a bit of an idiot for saying it and I'd be wary of her. Although in the past my attitude would have been more "who cares what she thinks as long as she lets me stick it in her" I loved shallow, insensitive or arrogant girls when I was younger because it made it easier to use them, less guilt when the girl is a douche.
If I asked them that then it would be my own fault for asking them to compare my penis with their exes penis. So they're not being immature in that case they were just honestly answering a question I shouldn't have asked in the first place.
Next time it comes up in conversation don't ask, never ask a girl to compare you to an ex and if a girl starts comparing you to her ex in any way then tell her not to and be wary of those girls.
Whatever conversation you were having try not have that kind of one again. OP I have yet to meet a girl that would say something like that in a conversation without being led to that point or asked about it. Other than situations of spite, where she's deliberately trying to insult me, I just haven't met a girl that would come out and tell me her exes penis was prettier and bigger than mine.
As far as letting it make you feel insecure, well he can wrap his pretty little penis in a ribbon for all you care, you got the girl.
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A
male
reader, Flashtony  +, writes (26 April 2011):
I'm with caring guy on this.... dump her!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (26 April 2011):
So ditch her. She's not worth the hassle.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionill also go ahead and add too that we have slept together and she had given me oral and she said she still does truely like mine but it still bother me that she told me i would look nicer if i was circumsized but its not like im going to get it circumsized any time soon
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (26 April 2011):
 Talk about insensitive! I'm with CaringGuy on that one.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (26 April 2011):
I'd throw her over. I just don't have time for that level of pathetic immaturity. And let me tell you - dumping people who have been immature has always served me well.
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