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She told me she has a history of cheating...should I leave this girl alone and wait for her to call me or pursue her?

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 December 2006) 5 Answers - (Newest, 31 December 2006)
A male United States, *kintooth4 writes:

My girlfriend and I have been seeing each other for 5 months now. We met at school and now that were on our semester break, she went back to her home in Boston and I live here in San Francisco, 3,000 miles away.

I can't help but think about her all the time. I guess this is good but I can't seem to get her off of my mind. I know that I am getting too clingy by calling her everyday but thats just cause I hardly talk to her. She always has to go, has to run off 4 min. into our phone call. It makes me think something is up because she's said before that shes cheated on most of her boyfriends. Now she tells me this is different with me and that she loves me, and I do her but thats still there in the back of my head that possiblity.

Should I ask her why she can't talk to me that much or should I just try the best I can at giving her her space and making her want to call me???

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A female reader, willywombat United Kingdom +, writes (31 December 2006):

willywombat agony auntMaybe you ring her at the wrong time. maybe she is getting bored with the phone calls every day, some people cannot be bothered talking on the phone. Maybe she is getting bored with you!! But to be honest the only way you will find out what exactly is going on is to ask HER!! She is the only person who can supply the answers to what you are looking for.

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A male reader, Skintooth4 United States +, writes (31 December 2006):

Skintooth4 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Skintooth4 agony auntBEENTHEREANDONETHAT: I understand but if you LOVE someone then you are dedicating yourself to them. Its not "I love you but I want to sleep with other people."

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A male reader, Skintooth4 United States +, writes (31 December 2006):

Skintooth4 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Skintooth4 agony auntBEENTHEREANDONETHAT: I understand but if you LOVE someone then you are dedicating yourself to them. Its not "I love you but I want to sleep with other people."

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A female reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (30 December 2006):

beentheredonethat agony auntYes....I warned most of my boyfriends that I was a cheater....some listened. Most refused to listen and stormed off in a snit after discovering that I was telling them the truth. Some pursued me more...certain that if THEY tamed me....I was a prize. (they didn't want me...just wanted what they couldn't have)

She has been truthful with you. If you want her...you must accept her for who she IS....not who you fantasize she could become with your guidance. She will probably always be a player....and it is not something that makes us bad people.

Just not acceptable to many. It means the man who will really win her...will be the one who can look past sex and SEE her....and love her. I explained it to a friend like this.

For me in my fantasy land where Robert Duvall and Tommy Lee Jones were both asking me to marry them...it would not matter which one I picked....Because I would cheat on him with the other one.

Either accept her....or go somewhere else. but don't be shocked when she does exactly what she said she would do?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2006):

I think if we will pay attention people always tell us who they are. She has told you she is a cheater, she does not talk to you for more than 4 minutes out of her life and she rarely sees you because she lives away from you....she says she loves you, but actions speak louder don't they.

It is humam nature to want what we can't have, but be sure this person is what you really want if you are going to pursue her this hard, if you pay attention she is telling you who she is...is that what you want?

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