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anonymous
writes: i went out on this date with this girl i really really like. she really enjoyed it etc. she even text me later thanking me for it.basically my mate her ex was helpin me get with her. he was askin her how our date was etc. and she said stuff like ye it was great, he was a gentlemen just like you, after all he is your mate! what's that supposed to mean? she clearly fancies him. than she wrote on msn: please take me out for lunch. (that's not a problem) but she than said i love to eat at subway. i love subway just like i love you! i think that's a total giveaway.my mate told me this, he doesn't like her but she does dont you think?i was so lookin forward to ringing her and arranging a second date. but now after i found out she wants to go lunch with another boy it's killin me in the inside. it's hurting so much! i really like her, and she just leaves me hanging!there is not much i can do is there?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2007): if he were really trying to get you two together, would have he mentioned their converstion on msn?... Maybe you're right or maybe you just giving up on this girl too soon... Even if she still has feelings for him, she may be wanting to get over those feelings.
and if it's all a set up for your friend to get rid of her, maybe he's not such a good friend?
Just thoughts you might like to consider...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni know my friend doesn't like her. it's hard to explain but i know him way too well. he doesn't like her and has tried too hard to get me with her. do you guys reckon i should call her and just talk generally? i just dunno what to do.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2007): Hi, it may not be the case but, have you considered that maybe your friend and her ex is lying or exaggerating things because he's jealous and deep inside don't want you to go out with her?
You only had one date with her, so I doubt she's madly in love with you. But she might genuinely want to get to know you. She might be seeing the good side of you, and maybe her comment was on the lines of "I understand why youtwo are such good mates", and as for the subway comment it may just have been a tease or a playful comment taken out of context.
if you like this girl, I'll give it a chance. I think it's too early to confront her about her feeling for her ex, it may not go down well. If she's not genuine, if she's using you to get to him, you'll know. Just don't let other people influence your opinion of her. Specially not her ex!!!
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A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (30 January 2007):
 Hi Love,
Thank you for your question. This girl may have went out with you to get closer to your friend (her ex) or even to make him jealous. I would hold back here and see if she calls you. Did she ask about your friend at all when you went out on this date? It does sound to me from what you've said that she does still have feelings for this other guy and is using you as a way to get closer to him.
If she gets in touch with you again then put her straight, tell her you like her and would love to take her out again but you won't be used if she's looking for a way to make her ex jealous. Let her know you aren't stupid! (Women like assertive men ;o)) If she still wants to go out with you then go out... be her friend and take things very slowly. Things could develop between you in time as long as you can both talk and be honest with one another. I wouldn't rush to be intimate with her though as this will take things to the next level and if you DO find you have feelings for her then this will only screw you up and confuse you more. Keep it light, take her out, be her friend and read the signs.
Good luck and let me know how you get on.
Eve
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