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She thinks I will cheat on her because she does not want vaginal intercourse, but I won't. Any suggestions?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 May 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 30 May 2008)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My current girlfriend will not have vaginal sex until she is married, but will do oral and let me reciprocate. The problem is I am not a virgin in the slightest and have had many partners. We have run into some of my ex's together or seen girls hitting one me and always gets extremely jealous. This always leads to conversation about me leaving on her for someone that I could have sex with.

I have not pressure her at all about having sex and completely respect her decision, I wouldn't "support" her breaking it, but if she really wanted to honestly probably would, but that would be entirely up to her.

My problem is that she basically doesn't believe me when I tell her this.... She believes that because I have been sexually active with all of my other partners that I will inevitably cheat or leave.

I won't lie and say that I don't miss vaginal intercourse, but I like this girl enough that for the time being I am willing to give it up (I don't think that either of us seeing this thing headed towards marriage).

I know some people will say if it isn't going to head there then just break-up, but like I have stated, I do like her a lot and besides this occasional jealousy issue we get along famously.

Any suggestions?

View related questions: jealous, my ex, vagina

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I suppose that is my point... She is more than a friend to me, famously may have not been the best terminology to have chosen. The point I was trying to get across was that for the time being, I am completely okay with not having sex and its not like I am not getting off often from other activites....

Obviously it could become an issue. I never thought I would be with someone who doesn't have sex... but shouldn't we both allowed to enjoy the relashionship until it became an issue , or something else wrecked it. I would never just come to her one day and say, "well i need sex, so its either time for you to give it up or not".

I have been as up front about it as I could be, but I understand what you gals are saying. I talked to her about it briefly last night, and she said that she wants us to stay together and if it becomes an issue then it becomes an issue... but my conscience says that she is just saying that to try and keep me around.

It just sucks (no pun intended)......

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A female reader, mbiling Canada +, writes (30 May 2008):

eventually if you are sexual you will want to go all the way, its in a mans drive. I know ive been with men. lol. If shes not ready, ask her when. when will she know. if she wants the whole virgin thing till marriage, and you dont want to marry than you should go your own seperate ways. thats just my view, maybe you can still stay friends, i have friends who are guys that i get along with fmously too. lol. bye hun!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008):

AND I say it, if you don't see yourself getting married then yes break up! Also you really think you can go years without intercourse and to know you won't marry this girl? what's the point? Your g/f has a very valid point there.

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