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She tells her ex "I love you"

Tagged as: Cheating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 July 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 18 July 2010)
A male United States age 30-35, *ugby steve writes:

Hey everyone

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for about a year and this is a girl that I have incredibly loved since the beginning of our relationship and she seems to be the perfect match for me. But I'm terribly afraid she is cheating with her ex. She is almost neighbors with him and she has stayed just friends with him ever since they broke up and we got together. But for the past 3 months she has been getting increasing closer to him. She calls him maybe 3,4 times a week and they will be on the phone for hours which is very annoying because she live very close to him and sees him almost every other day I'm not with her. But I live somewhat far from her and I don't get to see her a lot and whenever she is on the phone with him that cuts in time for us to talk. She will also lie to me saying she is busy so she can have time to spend with him. Its not like I keep her away from him either they see each other more than I see her but she will still lie and come up with some reason why she cant hangout and later ill find out that they hungout all day at either of their houses. She now says “I love you” to him which personally, I think should be only shared between both lovers and she will yell at me if I try and talk to her about this. I will admit I am a very overprotective person and this bothers me a lot and I care about my girlfriend very much because in the past I have been cheated on before numerous time. So what I am asking should I be concerned and talk to her and take action or is this something I should not be worried about. Thank you

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2010):

she is just stringing u along til her and her ex get back together.she doesnt care about u.right now she is so busy trying to make up with her ex and once its accomplished,you will be dumped immediately.dont let her play with your feelings like that.it wil only make her despise u even more that she's doing all that up on your face and you cant even stand up for yourself.let her go.dont take it for one more day.end it today.she is totaly disrespecting u and expects u to shut up and accept it.dont be no ones second choice.you deserve alot more than that.good luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2010):

Get out now.. she's cheating, and the amount of time she spends being that close to him is a bigger sign than the "I love you's".

You may love her alot, but I can tell you that if she loved you in the least, she wouldn't be doing that. Right now, she doesn't have the capability to love you enough, and you deserve someone who will devote more time toward you than her ex. Normally I wouldn't be so blunt, but she must think your really gullable if she feels she can get away with that and you wouldn't leave her. Some people feel that their partner will try even harder to keep them, the more they fool around like that.

She's playing you to see how far she can get away with it, and acting on old feelings she never got over, with this ex of hers. I feel really bad for you having been with her for a year, since it will be alot more difficult emotionally, to convince yourself she wasn't even close to the person you thought she was.

It's not a mistake, what she's doing, but an intentional plan she's following in order to completely fulfill all her dreams between both of you. I would tell her that if she obviously still wants to be with her ex that badly, that she can have him.

Cut yourself loose and be glad about the fact that leaving her now is alot less painful and a waste of your future than leaving her in 2 or 3 years, where she'll most likely have advanced past emotional cheating by then, to the physical cheating, if she hasn't already.

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A female reader, Maidengirl101 United States +, writes (18 July 2010):

Maidengirl101 agony auntMy ex was the same way over me I think if you sat down talk to her she would understand if she thinks your being unreasonable ask her what she would think if you did that to her. She might get mad but i understand your worried and ask if you can hang with them sometime to check it out for yourself if she asks you why you want to tell her it will ease your worries so that you can trust her if she refuses there is something up.

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