A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi all.So as the title suggests, all me and my partner seem to do is argue over things. We have been together 9 months and we both love each other very much, but its all starting to get a bit too much.Last night we had a row over how often we make love. My partner hasnt the same need for it as me, and she says she feels that its what our relationship is based on. Its not, I havent touched her for over 2 weeks, I never been like this before and its driving me mad. She says there are other ways that I show her I love her, and shouldnt need physical contact all the time.Whats bothering me more than anything, and I mean to the point where it makes me sizzle with anger, is that before she met me she was friends with a guy, a guy who she did have sex with. Twice she tells me, but that doesnt make any difference. Now my argument is that she was happy to do it with him, but why wont she do it with me. She tells me that it was meaningless, and if I want meaningless sex then I can have it. All I keep asking her is if there is something she doesnt like about me, or if there is something else wrong. She just gets really upset about it. She does love me, I have no doubt whatsoever. but if she really does then why did she give to someone who she only knew for a few weeks, something she wont give me?Like I say, there are arguments every weekend. I do my best to stop them but it still happens. But what I explained above was a biggy.Please dont tell me to chuck her in, or anything like that. We are in love, and we can work it out.I just dont know what to do? Please help! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (6 July 2009):
 "The five love languages" book by Gary Chapman could help you figure out how to deal with this situation like it helped in mine.
Can a book help you? It did for me, the real question is "is she worth the reading?"
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