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She says she wants to be friends with me but wants to take a year off to focus on her new relationship!

Tagged as: Crushes, Dating, Friends, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 March 2017) 4 Answers - (Newest, 4 April 2017)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi,

I was sort of dating this girl. We flirted, talked every day, I emailed her cute things, amde her things, she sent me a nice care package, etc. but then realized things were not right. We decided since we shared so much, I asked her if we could be friends. She said yes.

However, when I started emailing her, her answers were very short. Finally I asked her why. She said she was dating someone else whom she loved "very, very ,very much." I found it surprising because it had not been so long after we transitioned (or so I thought) to a friend relationship. Anyway she then wrote me how good a person I am and that she wants to be friends...but can we take a break for a year? She then wished me happy birthday and for got how old I am - she overstated it by 4 years (!).

Has her brain been fried? How should I take that, that she wants to be friends, but wants to take a break for a year, presumably to focus on her new relationship? Should I be insulted? Is she being selfish? Or is she just trying to say good bye without hurting me?

View related questions: a break, flirt

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (4 April 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntShe is trying to let you down gentle as she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. She has met someone and has pointed out to you very bluntly how she feels about them. Maybe she has met someone and maybe she hasn't. But either way she is making it clear that she wants no contact from you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2017):

She's not interested. She might come around once in a while for a quick exchange but that's it. Get on with you life. She has.

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A female reader, Ivyblue Australia +, writes (24 March 2017):

Ivyblue agony auntI have to agree with wise owl. This is her way of saying thanks but no thanks. Respect her wishes,move forward and don't look back otherwise you might miss what may lie ahead of you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2017):

It's a overly-polite way of telling your she's taken and you should back-off. In a year's time, you'd find someone and probably forget all about her.

Why should you be insulted? I think you should take a hint and move on.

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