A
male
age
36-40,
*azednconfsed
writes:Basically I've been having this on and off relationship with someone for 8 months now. The problem is she was/is in a long distance relationship with someone from another country that she only sees once a year. He was her first b/f, practically first everything. She's very contradictive of whatever she says and it seems like she can't make her up mind. If we stop talking, she'll eventually come back and she says she really likes me and knows i'm here, but she loves that guy and says she can't get over him. So what should i do?
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male
reader, dazednconfsed +, writes (13 May 2008):
dazednconfsed is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks again for your advice.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2008): OKay first of all your very welcome :) but listen to me and if you want to believe it good.. this girl might have alot of feelings for you but she loves someone else and like they say don't leave the person you love for the person you like.. honestly i totally understand how you feel .. you like her so much and so hard for you to let her go but just try.. cause iam sorry to say it looks shes using to waster her mind and time , thinking about her ex and dats not good you don't want to be that guy... be her friend don't make moves anymore be a friend thats it and if she cares and want you she will start having lots of feelings for you again and she the one who ll come to you asking to be in relationship again i promise .. i mean i hope that what happens .. you alreadii told her how u feel don't chase her anymore ... give her time but try to move on at same time cuz if she never moved on from her ex you don't want to be hurt right ?? good luck
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A
male
reader, dazednconfsed +, writes (11 May 2008):
dazednconfsed is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks everybody. Everything you guys have said so far has crossed my mind too, but i can't stop thinking about her. I feel bad cause our relationship started off based on her cheating. I also think and wonder, how in love can she really be if shes developing feelings and spending time with me, but then again she could be just using me. I've talked about it with her b4 and she said shes fighting her feelings for me but then shes not ready to let that guy go. is it true that every women has that fantasy of marrying their first love which also makes it very hard to get over them?
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A
female
reader, Angel Baby +, writes (11 May 2008):
Ok don't listen to LonelyTwo. He has no idea what he's talking about, obviously.
She probably does like you. But she is still in love with this guy. Its going to take her a lot of time to get over him.
I think you need to tell her that you just want to be friends. She's still in love with this guy and needs to get over him; she's going to need her space. She's not meaning to play games or be confusing; she's confused too.
Be a friend to her, be there for her. But, that's all you should be until she's completely over this guy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2008): Typical immature woman. If you want to be played, then stay with her, otherwise, you might be better off if you moved on and found someone more worthy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2008): ahuh?? kinds confused if she really likes u why shes in love with someone whose not even in this country and sees only once a year.. honestly i think she deeply in love with her ex because i was in her position and sad to say i used to tell guys who really like me yea i like you too but i cant forget my ex and if i say that that means iam deeply still in love. hoestly iam in your girlfriend position and iam sorry to say dis guy likes me and i say i like but hes nothing compares to my ex.. move on iam sorry
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A
female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (11 May 2008):
 She seems to be using you as an emotional crutch and you maybe need to walk away from this one. There is someone out there who will love you more than this girl does at present. If you really cant bear to be without her sit her down and talk about this and explain you cant be there for her only when she needs you only for her to go on about him again. SHe needs time to get over him alone first x
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