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She says my gift of flowers was inappropriate. What does she mean by this?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 August 2016) 5 Answers - (Newest, 19 August 2016)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I am a lesbian and I recently gave flowers to a girl. I haven't seen her since March and is now August so it's been a few months since I saw her last. When I gave her the flowers she said that I've been acting inappropriate and that the flowers were inappropriate. As far as I know she is not homophobic or has anything against gay people so I don't think that's what she means when she says inappropriate. My question is, what does she mean when she says that I've been acting inappropriate when I haven't seen her since March? Also, how can giving her flowers be inappropriate?

I'm very confused. If anyone could shed some light on this I'll be appreciated thanks.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (19 August 2016):

CindyCares agony aunt Flowers are generally a romantic gesture. Of course one can also give flowers to moms, sisters, sprecial friends etc. if there's a close bond... and if it is known that they love flowers.

Other than that you give flowers to somebody it's either part of courtship, or a token of appreciation when you are a couple. Ot basically means " I like you *that way *".

Appareently you don't know this girl too well, and you are not parricularly close ?

So you just pop up one day , after not having seen her since months, bunch of flowers romantically in hand.... yes, I can see well this girl's point. It is inappropriate. Indelicate. OTT.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2016):

I tell you something i have bad luck when i give flowers from my heart, they always break up with me, right after words, ive been told, so you cheated on me , or its to romantic, i just thought women like getting flowers, i just think flowers would make them smile, know i get dumped, good luck, i have the same problems with chocolates

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (18 August 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntMy guess is that she probably saw the flowers and thought you where meeting up with her as a date, as they are usually seen as a romantic gesture, so my guess is she kinda freaked out and told you straight. Are you really good friends with her? It does sound random and a bit strange that you would just show up with flowers.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (18 August 2016):

Honeypie agony auntFlowers are usually given when people are either GOOD friends, family or in a serious relationship as PART of a courtship.

Flowers are USUALLY seen as a romantic gesture.

If you gave her flowers because you saw them, they were gorgeous and you wanted to brighten her day, then I don't think they were OVERLY inappropriately, however SHE did.

Are you trying to court her? If so, I think you are wasting your time. She isn't interested.

And really showing up out of the blue, give flowers and expect gratitude? it's a little entitled, don't you think?

If you are trying to renew a friendship you should USE your words and talk to her.

And honestly, if you are so confused about HER actions why not ask her?

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (18 August 2016):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntWhy did you give her flowers? Were they out of the blue? By the sounds of it, she had no clue you were interested in her and they were inappropriate because flowers are usually something you give after dates, not randomly.

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