A
male
age
30-35,
*ustfriends
writes:well about 5 months ago I met this girl Natalie, she was everything I ever wanted and she knew it. I probably made a mistake telling her that I like her and she thought it was cute. I talk to her almost every day and have asked her out a few times but she is always busy with legit excuses. its gotten to the point where my friends get pretty pissed because I talk about her all the time. the way it started was not right though, I would see her every day almost at school and knew that I had to talk to her and get to know her but I didn't instead I sent her a friend request on facebook and was to afraid I guess to talk to her on there. She had a formspring which I would write anonymous notes telling her how pretty she was and how I want to get to know her. Finally one day I just told her who I was and that night she sent me a message on facebook. I did not know what to do honestly I knew it was wrong to start talking to her this way but I was a coward. Time went on and I talked to her often on facebook but finally one day I asked if she was going to this school even and she said maybe, well for me it was worth a shot to go and hopefully she would have been there. I show up a little late and look around but she was no where to be seen. I felt that she thought I was going and she would not go because I was there. then I turn around she just walked in. I can not explain how I felt but it was amazing, I walked up to her and was like hey. we talked for a few minutes and she went over to her friends. I messed up bad I though because I was not speaking clearly I was to afraid to talk to her. a few months go by talked to her often though out this time but she left to go to belize for a trip. the day before she left I said have a safe flight and see you when you get back. My friends said I am a tool and I need to just move on but she is all that I think about. she got back and told me about the trip I missed her a lot. I went to the beach for the weekend and every girl I saw with pretty blonde hair made me think about her. finally yesterday 5 months or so after I first met her I asked if she wanted to see a movie with me just as friends she said "I am busy but if you go let me know how it is" I was like alright talk to you later. I am at the movies with my friends and just as it starts she walks in with other people. I felt crushed because even know we were not dating I still liked her a lot and she blew me off I guess. she knew I was there and went anyway but left before it was over so she would not need to talk to me. when I got home I talked to her on facebook for 2 hours til one a.m. she said "look I have a thing with another guy" then she wanted to know why I liked her so much and I made another mistake of pouring out my emotions to her she wanted to know everything and I just kept saying stuff. She then said well I will help you find a girl, I wanted to get mad at her but no matter what she does I can't be angry at her. Basically I need some advice on what to do I can't stop thinking about her and I am only 16 and she is 15 and I respect her more than anyone and care about her more than anyone even know we are just friends but I love the way she makes me feel. also if you want more info I can go one for hours about it
View related questions:
crush, facebook, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2010): Hey, justfriends. I'm the guy who wrote that reply to you on the 20th.
You can talk to her if she contacts you first, just don't kiss her ass. Don't be eager and smother her with questions and compliments. Try to tease her. Don't ask questions like "do you like me?" or "is that okay?" I know you said you'd be nice, but you can make fun of her like a little sister and give her a wink emoticon afterward. Don't apologize for yourself. Friendly jabs are what flirting is all about. But don't make fun of anything she's actually self-conscious about, that's just being mean.
If I were you, I'd try to chat with other girls while you're on there talking to her so you're not just giving her all your attention. And who knows, maybe one of those other girls might start to be more interesting.
Good luck!
A
male
reader, justfriends +, writes (21 July 2010):
justfriends is verified as being by the original poster of the question Well yesterday was going well I was keeping busy and not thinking about her at all until about 10 at night she started to talk to me, I agree with what everyone has said and I am backing off big time probably until school starts again and I will end up seeing her everyday.
I don't want to be rude and promised her I will always be as nice as I can be to her but how can I avoid her if she wants to talk to me? should I just tell her an excuse like I cant talk now or what?
thanks for the advice
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2010): Whoa, dude!! You need to back off. The first thing you need to realize is that there are 3 BILLION women in the world and you happened to see this one on the way to school. If she's the only one in the world that will ever be for you, you need to go buy some lottery tickets because percentages are in your favor.
Many, many men, including me, have been where you are.
You are being a clingy wuss-boy and women do not like that. They like a man who is secure in himself. You have handed over ALL your power to this woman and she can crush you with a few words, gestures, or a wink of her eye.
Women want a man who can protect them and who they can learn things from. They want a man who is secure enough in himself that he will be okay if a particular woman doesn't want him or if she disagrees with him. They want a man who doesn't give away his power and who is confident in himself.
The first thing you need to do is stop contacting this woman at all. Don't message her. Don't chat with her. Don't comment on her blog anonymously. She will wonder where you went and that is good. Right now, she doesn't care where you are. She won't miss you if you're always there when she snaps her fingers.
The second thing you need to do is look around for some other women you find attractive and try to get to know them. Getting to know someone else will take your mind off your dream girl and it MIGHT just make her take notice that you are getting on with your life and she doesn't control you.
You may even find that one of these girls can make you feel just as good as your crush.
You are not in love with this girl. She doesn't even want to go to the movies with you. You are in love with the idea of you and she (something that is imagined and has not happened) and also with the way it makes you feel that she is talking to you.
Imagine how great you'll feel with another girl who is just as happy that you're talking to her as you are that she's talking to you.
I wish you luck, sir!
...............................
A
male
reader, justfriends +, writes (20 July 2010):
justfriends is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for the help, I really wish I could just move on and I am doing my best, my friends have said the same things so its good advice
once again thank you
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (20 July 2010):
 I'm sorry your crush isn't as into you as you are into her. It happens.
Back off a bit and see where things take you, oh and stop stalking her.
Good luck,
...............................
|
