A
male
age
51-59,
*ondrake
writes:Dear Savants of Dear Cupid, You all have given me sage advise the numerous times I've ventured forth. You've saved me from wrecking my ship against the rocks, for which I thank you. A question: "What does this mean?" The tennis player contacted me again, after months, to play tennis again. I agreed. My attraction to/for her is still there but I remember the advise that I received here and all went well. While catching up and having a beer after the workout, two things were revealed. 1.)She had a birthday recently and is 35. 2.)She is dating someone around my age, the man is 56. I find this interesting because as I'm sharing details and said that I'm still not dating anyone, she says, "well that because you're being unrealistic and trying to date someone my age!You need to date someone your age." [let's pause here a moment..]This is not about trying to date her anymore, I'm really past that. Her statement, however, merits examination. I suppose this is more of a rhetorical question but, "what does this mean?"
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (13 August 2013):
 Honestly, IF YOU think you are a good catch for a lady of "any" age then go forth and find someone, then thing is YOU need to try not to be stuck on the woman's age too. Just because a woman is "young" doesn't mean she can actually keep up with you or shares the same common interests.
So broaden your horizons, don't be scared of dating women who are (for instance) your own age.
A
male
reader, vondrake +, writes (13 August 2013):
vondrake is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThere's that saying, "You never see yourself as the world sees you". And it kept running through my mind as I read and re-read all of the insightful and keen responses that all of you sent over. All of them made me do some introspective reflection. But some raise more questions that they addressed. So_Very_Confused: I don't think my expectations are too high and considering all of the varied outside interests that I have,that she's crazy about, I would have run into her or someone like her at any of them. Eyeswideopen: Believe it or not, I didn't know exactly what she meant. although like Xearo mentioned, her statements did sound hypocritical and certainly made her sound like a hypocrite. and no, I try and make it a point to not date hypocrites. Not sound policy, and I'm not that desperate. Natasia: That stuff is great, as well. But to see it as a challenge, as you say, wouldn't you have to suffer from low self esteem or something like that? 35 IS no problem for me, I've been approached by and dated younger. Honeypie: That's the thing that baffles me! Not to toot the horn too loudly, but I'm in incredible shape. She's the one that has to take a nap after our tennis sessions. And good for your dad; everyone knows, that's interested to know, that sex keeps you young at heart along with all of the other benefits of an active sex life. To the #1 female anonymous reader: That description of me is from most 25 to 35 male tennis players that refuse to believe I'm 56 when I tell them. Almost to the point of being indignant. The only women that I've found that will do the 10 mile warm up bike ride, lunch and then the 2-a-day tennis practice sessions are all in that 24-28 age range. Also, I'm as far from a Fuddy Duddy as you could possibly imagine. I have a very active imagination and keeping a woman on her toes is, according to a previous girlfriend, "one of the best things about the relationship we had". So that is no problem for me at all, I assure you. #2 female anonymous reader: But women younger than her find me attractive and, thank God for the 25-28s, make it very clear. And these are university graduated very attractive, very fit women. I obviously don't understand the female psyche because the need take a *dig* seems very ___________(I don't know; fill in the blank????) And finally, human_male: broadening my horizons is what I thought was doing. I agree with you, it is good advise. Again, thank you all taking the time to respond to my question. I do have a better idea, now, of how to navigate the younger woman arena. I like it; I love women. It's good to be a man...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (13 August 2013):
She thinks you will have better "luck" with the ladies if you date in your "own" age range.
My Dad is 73 and dating a 47 year old and he can run circles around her. lol
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2013): it means that (a) women her age dont' find men your age attractive, so you would have more success with women your own age. (b) nevertheless, she's now dating someone your age. Therefore, she could be taking a dig at you, saying that you're not as attractive as the new guy she's dating since she would date *that* old guy but not you.
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A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (12 August 2013):
 It means what she said. She thinks you have much less chance of getting a 35-year-old than a 50-year-old. It's actually not a very complimentary thing to say to you, although I suppose some might see it as a 'challenge'. You were probably supposed to say 'Hang on, baby - I would have no problem bagging a TWENTY-five-year-old ... you're too old for me!'.
It's all a confidence trick, like selling a house. You say 'this is a fabulous house' and more often than not, people believe you. You say '35 is no problem for me' - and she will believe it. It sounds to me like she needed to hear it from you.
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (12 August 2013):
Yeah it's hard to take advice from a hypocrite. Even I would have a hard time trying to take her words seriously. I think the beer was talking and if I were in your place I would call out her bs. But you shouldn't try to analyse her words anyway, you would just be wasting your time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2013):
She see you as an old fuddy duddie .. Describe yourself or ask a random to describe you... Then come back on with that info ..
I would have replied ' maybe you should try the same, dating your own age. But guys your age want twenty something's lol lol '
I think she wants a reaction as well .. I wouldn't give it . InfAct I would fib and say ' who says I'm not dating someone and stop telling her your not dating that's a 'no no'
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A
male
reader, human_male  +, writes (12 August 2013):
 Perhaps she meant you should broaden your horizons, which is good advice.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (12 August 2013):
 Of course you know exactly what she meant, albeit hypocritical. But it really doesn't matter anyway since you aren't interested in dating her, right?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 August 2013):
 IT means she thinks your expectations of who would want to date you are too high....
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