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She never told me that she liked my ex, shes now having a fling with him, I'm hurt she never told me before!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Friends, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 April 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 17 April 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi not sure how to handle this situation. I have a really good friend and we are very close lately she has been going through a bad patch with her man and has been messing around with a few different men. But something she told me yesterday has got to me, she admitted that she is now having a fling with an ex of mine and that she has feelings for him, me and this guy split bout 6 weeks ago i dont have feelings for him never did but my friend has admitted that she had feelings for this guy when we first met but because she couldnt have a relationship with him because of her bloke she stood back and let me date him. Im really hurt inside that she never told me that she liked this guy as I would have never gone there I always make a pact to never date somebody a friend has feelings for or a friends ex. I dont want the friendship to end cause I love her alot and want to see her happy but I cant shake this raw feeling of her not telling me and now her being with him. She is still with her boyfriend also cause they have children. I really dont know what to do, she is a good friend but this whole not telling me hurt wont go away. I would never lose her because of a man but help dealing with this is what I need so that I dont end the friendship

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2007):

Sounds like you do have feelings for this guy and not realised it. Why would your friend date any of your ex-s anyways. I would not do that, there are lots of other guys out there. Just because of the fact that you are her friend,she should not have choosen him, there are lots of other guys out there to date. She should respect you, whether you had feelings for him or not. I would really look at her closely to make sure that she is REALLY MY FRIEND. I don't like the sound of this. If she was a real friend in the first place, she would have thought about you and your feelings.

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A female reader, xoTrineyxo United States +, writes (16 April 2007):

xoTrineyxo agony auntI think you should talk it over with her tell her hwo you feel. If she really is your best friend she will take your feelings into consideration and try to stop flirting.

Good Luck xox

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A female reader, Cordelia +, writes (16 April 2007):

Cordelia agony auntTo be honest with you it sounds like maybe you did have something for this guy! Maybe even a little something. Friendships always seem more important than a relationship. Thats how everyone sees it, but the thing to watch is how your friends and partners are around each other. Would you ever do this to her? Maybe you need to sit down and tell her how this is making you feel. And also if she still has a boyfriend and children this is goin to affect them also.

Does her boyfriend know?

If he does then maybe you could tak to him and arrange something were you can all sit down and sort something out. Email me if you need further help.

Hope ive been some help sweetie

xxxxxxx

Cordi

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