A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:A little background, we're both 27, have been officially together for the past 6 months. Everything was going very well, having serious talks about moving in with each other and eventually letting each other know that we found exactly who we were looking for. All in all, some very uplifting and heavy feelings that were reciprocated endlessly. We never could get enough of each other, and a need for 'space' seemed trivial.Fast forward to last weekend, I get ignored for the weekend. When I asked if anything was wrong all I got was "i really need some space right now". The further explanation that I received that she was overwhelmed with jumping into another serious relationship, but what confuses me is that it was serious for the past four months for the both of us. I've been trying to give her the space she needs, but I'm scared that I'm just going to get a text finalizing everything. All of the nice things she said over the last four months are coming to mind and it makes it hurt all the more, because she's very cold and formal now with any interactions.So I went NC for the week. She then emailed me saying that "I don't see things changing anytime soon" and that her being distant was much easier than talking about why she needed this break. I told her I loved and cared about her, and it wasn't reciprocated -I'm going NC again. Obviously my questions about 'why' will never be answered, but I'm sick of being devastated over this. She's off not phased about this at all, and i'm in a pit of despair.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2011): Is this a "break" that includes sleeping with other people? If she isn't saying she is still exclusive to you, then go ahead and assume she is open to the idea of sleeping with other people right now. (And when a female is open to the idea, it won't take long. They get hit on, men don't.)
A
male
reader, Tom Obler  +, writes (19 September 2011):
 Hi,
Rebound.
This came to mind to me as soon as I read the "overwhelmed" part. Sadly, there is not a lot you can do. Rebounds go fast and furious and beautiful and loving and suddenly STOP.
Her way of slowing it all is to go distant and withdraw. When she says she is overwhelmed or needs space time she is right. (if it is a rebound)
She now needs time to do a rain check on her life and loss of her previous relationship. She will have to get there without you I'm afraid because she needs to be alone without another big relationship. I believe it is this and that could explain things. All you can do is give her that space and let her contact you. But don't put your life on hold. Best wishes.
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