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She met a guy for a week and consider him her boyfriend, but has been hanging out regularly with me.

Tagged as: Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 March 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 2 April 2010)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

*OP's own title*

Alright here is my situation.

I like this girl at work. After two months of working together we have become friends and my feelings for her grew. A movie came out that everyone wanted to go and see. However no one was able to go because they all had children at home, she didn't, so I told her that I had asked everyone else and they said no, and that I was going to go and if she would like to go that would be cool. She said no because she wanted to go as a group to make it more fun. No big deal, I went anyways. However after that, I started to notice that she was looking at me more, standing closer to me, and talking more with me. Great. This kept going for about a month and a half and we were even better friends. Then Valentines day came along, I decided to get her a valentines day gift. I was nervous as hell going up to her and giving to her, but I got a few things she liked, and she loved them. Afterwards, she was looking more at me, talking more to me, holding eye contact longer, and standing closer to me. So I finally decided to ask her is she wanted to hang out, not go out, but hang out, go get a coffe. She had just moved into a new apartment, and needed a bed, and a coworker was giving her one right after work. She told me she totally would, be she had to get the bed to her apartment. No big deal, have to sleep at night right? Of course the next day more eye contact, even closer, longer looks. Finally I got her to go to a part with me, and it was great, then we went to the movies the day after that. We've seen another movie sense then and spent some time at the mall together, and have had some serious conversation. Things are going good right? Wrong. She had met a guy for about a week and really liked him, he left to go somewhere for a long time, and she considers him her boyfriend. She doesn't talk about him all the time, and when she does its very brief.

We work together, so that makes it complicated. If I tell her I like her, she might not and then things get awkward at work.

I honestly believe we both know this, I can almost feel it between us. There is something between us but I don't know how to increase our relationship. I might be leaving in a month or so, so I don't know what to do. Can anyone help me out?

View related questions: at work, co-worker, girl at work, moved in

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2010):

i think you should take her aside and explain to her that you like her. if she says she likes you back then ok. but if she doesn't then explain to her that that is fine and you hope that the conversation doesn't complicate your relationship as friends.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I can honestly say I feel the same way. We are good friends, so it would be best not to ruin it. But yeah I am taking it slow, and am looking for other people. And I'm sure she will realize it will never work between them, then yeah I'll let her know. I will be leaving this area in about a month or so, when that happens I'll tell her that I like her.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2010):

If she considers him her boyfriend then she obviously doesn't think of you in a romantic way. It might be possible you read too much into her reactions and thought she was into you.

You are right in not telling her your feelings right now, I say back off for a while and see how things go. If she only knew this guy for a week then it might be not too serious, wait it out and if they break up, you can tell her how you feel.

Until then, stop wasting your time.

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