A
male
age
41-50,
*bejohn
writes:I've been dating this girl for about 4 months.The first 6 weeks were great, things moved very fast.She then told me she has a child... it caught me off guard.. but I accepted that because of the feelings I had for her.I knew things were not going well with her work life, and she was approaching some tough times. I offered to help her and have her and her child stay with me. I'm pretty successful, so the money was not an issue. We lived at my place for a month, then I upgraded to a larger place to make things more comfortable. The thing is, I'm starting to realize that she loves to argue, and also, that there is major drama in her life. I'm starting to feel like I'm not really getting the emotional attention I need, and I know I moved to fast with her.Now, after an argument last night. Background on the argument. She went crazy on the Baby-daddy last night, and asked if she could be alone for the night to think things through about how she's going to handle the issues with her baby-daddy.I slept downstairs. The next day I was kinda stand-offish only because I thought she still needed space. Didn't make me feel good that she didn't want me around, and only made me feel worse that it was in my own residence.The next day, around night time, she confronted me and asked why I was so distant , and I told her because "i thought you wanted some space and I didn't want to get into an argument with you, you just seem to be very high strung right now" That lead into a longer argument, ending with me leaving the place, because I felt plain unwanted.This morning I went back home to speak with her, and see if she wants to work things out. Didn't really get an answer, only response I received was "well, do you want me to apologize for your issue? that you don't feel like you want to get into an argument?"Thing is I really do care for her, and want to work things out. But my mind is telling me "it's over".Should I try to see this through the end? until she's says it's over. Or should I just end it. I've invested a lot of emotion, time and finances. I really do care for her... Sorry for the long-winded post. Just ANY input would be nice and very much appreciated.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2010): Word of advice. Never say to a woman she is "very high strung" bound to start an argument with any woman not just yours!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2010): wow.. just wow. you allow somebody to move in with you when uve only dated them for 4 months? how can u know a much after such little time.
i think that she maybe overeacting because shes under a lot of stress and tension due to her own issues. maybe u should give her a chance, but i also think it is quite unhealthy to allow someone to move in whom u barely know. what are her true motives for being with u? do u think there may be a chance that she mantains a rel with u because she economically depends on u?
it puts people in a very difficult situation when one of the partners is the main economic supplier. it gives them a hell of a lot of power on a person and makes the that person feel emotionally fragile, dependent and helpless.
i dont know what u should do exactly, but i sugges u give her some time and then try to communicate ur true feelings to her. she may feel unwanted by u which might have triggered the argument. i mean, if she feels unwanted than it def puts her ina very insecure position. also u should try to understand her problems better and ask her how u could support her. but this also depends if u feel strongly for her and if ure willing to continue the rel.
it sounds like a difficult case. good luck
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (5 April 2010):
You moved way too fast with out knowing all the facts. She's getting a free ride here, to the point where she can order you around in your own home. Get rid of her and tell her that you can't see her until she has sorted out her own life. To try to see it through will mean you'll end up losing your house or something. She has to go.
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