A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm having trouble here. I fell in love. Yea one of those. I've had a very bad history in life. My first love died in a car accident. I lost it stopped dating then started searching for the same feelings I had before and ended up hurt in every way possible. Including being stabbed by a girls ex who was using me to get over him than goes right back to him. I turned to drugs and have done everything out there, ended up depressed blaming myself for my first loves death. Attempted suicide at one point, but now I fell in love with my good friend. When she had a boyfriend we hardly hung out. After they broke up and a couple weeks before she broke it off we started hanging out a lot. Getting real close. Her and I both have a very high sex drive. We ended up having sex quite a few times. Now the thing about her that drives me crazy is she makes me feel like everything is completely alright that I'm not a bad person. I am relaxed around her for the first time since that day. She knows about my feelings, we've never openly discussed it. She's been goin through a lot with this current ex. I've helped her through every step. I feel like everything I've been through is for the experience to help her. I did everything I could for her. The problem is she's on a merry go round where she breaks up with him he manipulates her back she says she's just friends and he's doing great at that and then they start dating again and pushes me away, the he'll fuck around and breaks her heart. And she comes back to me. I've told her all that and she says she knows yet still around and around she goes. This last time she came back I told her it sucks cuz I know ill never have her. That I was fine with that I'm glad just to even know her. And its true. Now she pushed me away and instead this time when she pushed me away I did the same to her. I don't talk to her for days. If she initiates contact with me I don't answer and ill call her. I just need to know is it right to do this? I just want her to be happy. All I want. Am I doing this right? I'm so fucking confused. Now I'm starting to get that old familiar pain I had before. What do I do?
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broke up, depressed, drugs, fell in love, her ex, sex drive Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Jendorset  +, writes (24 August 2010):
You have had a bad time and i feel you need to concentrate more on your own stability before you worry so much about her. You need to focus on making yourself happy.It doesnt sound like she considers you when she decides to go back and forth to her ex. This makes me wonder if she sees you as just someone to fall back on. You feel good when you are around her but she isnt doing you any good in the long run. She is making you feel hurt and confused and its not fair as im sure you wouldnt do it to her. Why do you think you are a bad person ? The death of your first love isnt your fault and you cant hold that blame forever. The bottom line is i think you need to tell her...its all or nothing. Do you actually have the confidence and self worth to stop this girl from treating you like an idiot ???
I really hope everything works out for you and you can message me if you want to talk.
A
male
reader, TalonZurfluh  +, writes (23 August 2010):
your not a bad person. explain to her how happy she makes you feel, and how she should realize that your there to love her. if her dumb ex does nothing but hurt her, then make sure she knows or realizes that your the better person for her, and you have much better intentions
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