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male
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes: ive been dating this girl for a month, but we became serious 2 weeks ago. shes different from anyone else ive dated (good and bad), but somehow we ended up becoming close. within the last 2 weeks, she has threatened to to harm to a relative, which has been bothering me for a while. on top of that she has said some mean things to me lately, and she still talks to her ex, whom shes cheated on. the last straw came with her drinking, embarrassing us at a big party. my relative hates her, my friends have told me to stay away from herm ,that i can do better. shes apologized repeatedly and promised to change her bad ways bc she loves me and doesnt want to lose me. i know it wont work, because im not sure about it, and normally if my family and friends dont like someone, theyre usually right, but im tired of short term relationships and sort of want this to work. should i leave or try to make it work?
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwould it be okay to just be friends with her? or should i just stay away all together?
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks everyone! i told her i wanted a break bc i didnt know if i wanted to be with her. we do still talk everyday, and she always asks if i still want to be with her. shes become a lot nicer since all of this; saying nice things, admitting all that happened was her fault, apologizing and attempting to fix the wrongs shes done, no more drinking, other habits etc. i know it wont work in the long run though - im moving across country in a few months!
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A
female
reader, Miss C  +, writes (9 June 2007):
 I think now is the best time to get out of the relationship. She sounds really messed up mentally and all the things you mentioned such as her drinking, the way she embarrassed you at the party and the involvement of her ex is evident to this. Don't stay in a relationship because you hate short term relationships. You will eventually grow to deteste this girl and that will make breaking up much more difficult. As for your friends and relatives, yes their opinions are important but it shouldn't always matter what they think so don't make any decisions on the grounds of what they think. Only you can makes this choice and it seems to me that if you are having doubts this soon, the relationship will never work. Good luck! Miss C
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A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (9 June 2007):
 She sounds like trouble. If she wants to make it up to you, she needs to give up drinking, and formally apologize to your relatives. Then she needs to show you that she's ready for a mature relationship.
DV1
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A
female
reader, deejuliet + ♥, writes (9 June 2007):
 You have only a month invested so now is a good time to get out. It will only get harder the longer you wait and the more you have invested in the relationship. From everything you have said in your question you should run like your pants are on fire and dont look back. She is bad news.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2007): Get rid mate.
If something bugs you after 1 month, then it isn't going to work.
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