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male
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anonymous
writes: I've been in a relationship with my partner for six years. We've never had an overly exciting love-life, and my partner was a virgin when we met. four years ago we had our son, and since then we have never made love. There's been what I'd call a mature foreplay, but nothing much more than on teen dates. I've brought it up lots of times, but have been assured that there's no issue. My problem is that, I'm convinced its me, and while she says that I never make a move, if I do, it never gets anywhere. My confidence pretty flat now. She keeps saying we'll work it out, but frankly, she's happier watching soaps in bed than anything else. At risk of being immodest, I'm not unattractive, and have no shortage of attention - but have never thought of straying.
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female
reader, !x!T!x!  +, writes (17 October 2006):
 i think your getting it all wrong here, shes the one who feels unattractive and has lost her confidence. make her feel beautiful do something special for her instead of just trying to initiate sex. bringing up children is exhausting and shes probably finds it hard to feel in the mood when shes got a four year old to run around after. if this approach fails then i suggest you seek proper relationship counselling together to try and sort it out, you clearly love this woman it would be a shame to waste that and it would be terrible on your son.
all the best !!!
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (16 October 2006):
 If she truly believes that there is " NO" issue, she's mistaken. I thnk you need to put your foot down and nsist on a complete sex life or at least do the work as a couple to find out why she is so willing to give it up. There is wide margin of what is considered to be normal but I think this falls off the chart. 4 Years of no intercourse is not normal.
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