A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Lately (my now ex fiance)was calling me by a different name several times daily. I since found she`s yet again been flirting in chatrooms and also now by text.When asked about it, she automatically turned on me, and as usual got angry and started accusing me of being up to no good..When we first got together she showed me notes she made about how bad her ex was (not shown love,neglected etc). Now i`m coming accross the same stuff about myself.She has several times taken personal things from my house,then tells me what she`s got in arguments.She resents her own privacy invaded.We have been together 2 years.We have a child together. Is it time to call it a day?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2007): There seems to be a very big problem of wanting constant attention with this type of person.For example,if you caught her in bed with someone else,you will be blamed because in her own selfish little world its a case of "he never compliments me" He doesnt show me love" "he lies to me". Basically she`s no good,she knows this and covers her blame. You will do better,stay away.YOU WILL THANK ME FOR THIS ADVISE ONE DAY,(YOURE PROBABLY NOT THE FIRST AND WONT BE THE LAST).
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2007): She will always turn things around because she`s guilty as sin.She`s warped,uncaring,and clearly doesnt love you.Dont be suprised if you find out she`s done more wrongs against you.She`s clearly not got any love for you.You stay away,otherwise she`ll be getting your name mixed up again.Believe me.The child will suffer more by being together.She may try using this as emotional blackmail or dumping on you when she needs a childminder.She seems a nasty piece that the world could do without.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (30 January 2007):
 You have every right to invade her privacy, if her private life includes being unfaithful to you. That's possibly why she's defensive.....because you caught her. She either frowns and says sorry or goes on the attack and syas you're the bad one.
Having said that, this also depends on your definition of flirting. Some people have a warped idea of what that is. Do you have any examples? Why is she keeping notes about you and where did you "come accross" them?
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (30 January 2007):
 Hello, and thank you for your question.You need to ask yourself do you love her? Do you want to try and save this relationship? If so then you need to sit down with her and have a serious talk together. Flirting on the PC and by text will only be the start. She's obviously unhappy with the relationship. Ask her what's making her unhappy and how you can both change that. It takes two to make a relationship work. DON'T stay together for the sake of the child. A child will be much healthier growing up in 2 homes where there are no arguments than living with parents who are shouting and screaming at one another all the time. It sounds to me as if she's bored with the relationship and is flirting with these other people because you may not be showing her enough attention. Talk to her, let her know how you feel. If she continues to treat you the way she does, in other words, is disrespectful, takes things from your house, calls you by another name and accuses you all the time then it might be time to call it a day and find someone out there who will give you the love and respect you deserve.I wish you all the best.Eve
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A
female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (30 January 2007):
 the last paragraph was suppose to read as follows:
i dont know why you are still together judging by her behavior but the fact that you refer her as a your exfiance shows that you managed work things out in the past so whatever you do this time try to make this seperation civil as you can for your child's sake.
jovial
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A
female
reader, Jovial +, writes (30 January 2007):
dear anon
i think this woman has no respect for you. however you must stop invading her privacy. i think before you make any decision sit her down and talk about this issue openly if she keeps on accusing of anything remind her that she is the one who is messing up the relationship and you need to know if she wants to start respecting u and accept responsibility for her actions or call it quits. please stay calm but firm otherwise you will just run around in circles without finding any solution. the reason why i want u guys to be rational about this is because there is a child involved which means if you break-up make sure you can be able to raise this child together without any more fights and this will be determine by the nature of your breakup.
i dont know why you are still together but she is your ex fince but whatever you do try to make this seperation civil as you can for your child's sake.
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