A
male
age
51-59,
*ivemetime
writes:I was seeing a women for about 4 months and feel in love with her, shes in her late 30' and has 2 kids, the trouble is the father of the youngest one was very violent with her during and after the affair, he told her that if she ever meet someone else he would not be happy (its been 2 years since they split). we had an argument about it and i told her he still had control over her which he does, the daughter confirmed it, she now will not talk to me at all except last week when he rang her and abused her he visits the kid once a fortnight and i feel the argument was not the reason for the breakup but more the fact she was looking for a way to keep me away over xmas as he was lately trying to have more contact with the kid. any thoughts on how this women is thinking would be great
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male
reader, givemetime +, writes (9 December 2008):
givemetime is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwhat caused the problem in the first place may go back two weeks prior, whilst talking about the ex she broke down and cryed, when i went to hold her she said don't and then said that's how he used to hold me! this man has pysicaly harmed her in front of her kids in the past, when he visits his 2 year old, the oldest daughter tells me that they don't say much as he gets abusive if they say the wrong thing. now to put him and her in perspective they were family friends and her husband left her, then his wife left him about 3 months later so i see that they hooked up as what i would call on the rebound, he is 20 years older and as i was told the child is a result of being on the alcohol one night, she told him to leave her 3 weeks later, this was 2 years ago but he still has violent tendancys to this day. I do really love her and she asked me to help her last week but since then she is silent again. I have sent her cards and letters and even a teddy and also put a notice in the local paper telling her i love her. the fact she has never said stop texting or sending letters must mean something i think.thanks for your answers they are what i was thinking
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2008): Geaorge Sand said: "There is one happiness in life; to love and be loved".
Thinking about the above saying, I suggest you talk to this lady. If she loves you she will be prepared to stand up for you and not allow her ex to abuse her, however, you will also have to ensure that she knows how much you care and how you feel about her. If you both love each other, he should not be a factor and if he is threatening her, the two of you should discuss it and deal with it as a couple.
If she is not prepared to work through this with you, I think you need to be very careful.Then maybe there is more to it then meets the eye. Maybe she still has feelings for the ex, that she does not want to admit to herself or you.
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