A
male
age
30-35,
*aeys
writes:Uhm Hi. I'm only 16 years old, going on 17 and my girlfriend is the same age as me, though 8 months younger. I've been with my girlfriend for a bit over 17 months. Things were really good when we started going out: she was really nice to me, she showed affection toward me, helped me out if there was a problem, wanted to fix stuff in the relationship, and was just a really good friend toward me.Some of you might think that just because i'm a teenager that my credibility and understanding of emotional situations is poor. None, even. But ever since our 8 month mark, things just started to go downhill. We fight over the stupidest things and when I try to sort everything out she'll snap at me or yell and walk away, leaving me there heartbroken and alone.I do everything for this girl; I wait for her after class everyday, make a conscious effort to have conversations with her, buy her nice things (like chocolates and small gifts from time to time), I constantly show her affection, I always tell her I love her, I've always been there when she needs a shoulder to cry on or needs to be with someone, and I've never hit, yelled, gotten angry at her. Not even once.But the thing is, she acts like she hates this relationship. She hardly ever wants to speak to me, she hardly ever shows affection to me, and when she does she's quick to stop like, she jerks her hand back from me as if I'm grotesque. She never fights for the relationship and when there's a problem, she'll either close off and go silent, snap at me repeatedly, walk off, or all three.I have to do EVERYTHING in the relationship. I have to fix every problem that arises and deal with it on my own while she acts like nothing is wrong. She practically acts like she can't stand me when we're in public but when we're in private, she'll tell me how much she loves me or when we're apart she tells me how in love with me she is.Then, however, I'm with her and everything's different. It's as if she likes the IDEA of me. Not me as a person. I've given everything and more for this girl and she treats me like absolute garbage but only me. Not her friends, not even the people she doesn't like! Only me.I can't end this with her because I love her so much and I have no idea why she can be so cold toward me. I don't understand how she can be so apathetic toward me when she's "Oh so in love with me" like she sends over texts on the rare occasion.I don't know what to do. I want her to love me like I love her and I'm a socially awkward kid so if I break up with her, then I may as well be dead because I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life. Why doesn't she love me..?!?
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female
reader, :)31215  +, writes (10 November 2010):
 Well she's gonna try and make you feel crap, cause then you won't leave her will you 'cause you feel guilty.
When she does that youll just have to explain to her that you've tried to talk to her about being a bitch to you and she hasn't stopped, an this I the end of it now
don't let her make you feel shite when you're not
you need to have this conversation... Good luck
A
male
reader, Vaeys +, writes (10 November 2010):
Vaeys is verified as being by the original poster of the question Once. I said that we really needed to talk about the relationship and she kind of sat there, reluctantly, listening to me speak.
Then she said "Well, I feel GREAT now." in an attempt to make me feel bad. And I did. That was the only thing she said the whole time.
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A
female
reader, :)31215 +, writes (10 November 2010):
Have you had a converstion like this with her before?
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A
male
reader, Vaeys +, writes (10 November 2010):
Vaeys is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo like, what's a good thing to say to start the conversation or to break it off with her?
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A
female
reader, :)31215 +, writes (9 November 2010):
Even hedghogs need love Vaeys :)
it's gonna take a lot of time for you to get over this girl as she obiously means so much to you
I suggest you have this converstion with her, if she reacts negatively then dump her. You said before if you dump her you won't have any friends..?
If you break up you should still hang around with your current friends. It's definatly not you who was in the wrong here..
X
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A
male
reader, Vaeys +, writes (9 November 2010):
Vaeys is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthen how do I go about moving on from her? I'm almost always thinking about her and since i'm really introverted, I don't really get to meet new people so I wouldn't have much more of a shot at love than a hedgehog would.
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A
female
reader, :)31215 +, writes (8 November 2010):
i think the only way you're going to get through to her is if you do have a serious conversation about whats going on, and what the anonymous reader said below, dump her if she cant be bothered.
I'm 18, and i know what it;s like to be so madly in love, and i have a boyfriend, and we've been together for 2 & 1/2 years in December. I dont know how you can still stay with her if she acted like tht
i know it would break my heart if my boyfriend acted like that for even one day, so i don't know how your heart isn't cracked into like, a billion pieces right now.
I think you really need to have this talk with her to sort it out
if she doesn't care, dump her.
You're obviously such a nice guy, and you deserve someone who treats you the same as you treat them
Good luck... i hope you find the courage to do what needs to be done, as well as a new girlfriend who will love you back.
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A
male
reader, Vaeys +, writes (8 November 2010):
Vaeys is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've already said to her "we need to have a serious talk about our relationship" and it didn't seem to help. Just made me seem the bag guy for ruling out everything she'd done to me. And even then, I still took her back.
I love her too much to break up with her but if she does something drastically moody/bitchy/stupid do you think I should?
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A
male
reader, Noslonomo  +, writes (8 November 2010):
Im 27 and married to a woman that has given me 2 wonderful boys, I love her with all my heart. That being said i felt the exact same way you do about my ex-gf that i had when i was about 20. At first she constantly told me I was great and everything a girl would ever want, but would break up with me and see other guys and I feeling that I loved her to much to be with anyone else would take her back every time she would have me. She had me wrapped around her finger and I did everything for her. I was innocent before my relationship with her. Till one day I had my fill of her and moved on with my life. As soon as she realized this she decided she must have me and i was "the love of her life" ... her coming back made me realize she didn't respect me before because she felt my love was unconditional and sometimes when things are unconditional we abuse them. Some might be able to go back after being abused, I wasn't. My story is I'm sure among many that show you can find better and don't have to put up with someone that abuses you whether its mental, emotional, or physical.
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (8 November 2010):
What you have just explained boils down to something like this -
I give 100% to her.
She give me nothing.
Can you please help?
You say you "love" her. We dont love people narrowly speaking. We love what they do, who they are, their actions. What has she done that justifies your love?
My advice to you is take this as a learning experience and move on. You will be in love likely many more times in your life, and when you really find "the one," you will look back on this and think "Thank God I didnt end up with her!" I know this from first hand experience....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2010): I once had a similar problem. My very first relationship, my girlfriend refused to touch me, would snap at me, never bought me a birthday gift or Christmas gift, essentially everything you've explained.
And at the end off it, we found out for the whole two years she'd been using me as a cover for a secret sexual relationship she'd had with another guy. Pretty crap, hm :( lol...
Not to say that your girlfriend is cheating lol... I think she's just taking the relationship for granted and expecting everything to be sunshine and daisies. If she refuses to talk about it, then I'm afraid you'll have to break it off. It'll hurt, but when you find someone else you'll feel LOTS better.
What you should do is go up to her and say, "I want a serious conversation about our relationship, I think there are problems, and if you really cared about us, you'd hear me out, and if not, I'm breaking up with you..."
If she tries to ignore you or disregard you, dump her. On the spot. It is the only way to get into her thick skull that you are a human just as she is.
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A
female
reader, KeighleySky +, writes (8 November 2010):
 your reason for not breaking up with her is a little silly, im a year older than you and i may have a little more experience but we're both young. we won't understand love properly until we experience it a few more times. i undertsand that you love her and that she seems like the wolrd to you but i can't tell if she feels the same way, she acts like she does when you're alone. to be honest this relationship doesnt sound as if it's benfiting both of you, just her. you need to tell her to stop being so horrible and negative because she'll lose you. if that slap in the face doesnt work then i suggest you leave her. it'll be better in the long run. your not getting anything from this relationship, she's getting love, and presents. it takes two to tango and right now it sounds as if your dragging her along the dance floor and she isnt putting in the effort for you. She's obviously not as into you as you are into her but maybe she'll change if you tell her you wont stand for it anymore. you're being walked on and you need to stand up for yourself. i hope everything goes well. :)
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