A
male
age
36-40,
*anny_zeco
writes:hi im have a problem with my girlfreind in that she drinks a lot of alchohol and even drinks in the morning on vodka, she smokes,does canabis, and will out drink most men!, and has cheated on me when drunk although she doesnt know i know. but she said she loves me and said "thats the way i am so get used to it", so im not sure if i should try and help her or leave but i do love her. thanks dan.
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cheated on me, drunk, smokes Reply to this Question
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female
reader, ladybug  +, writes (24 September 2007):
 She doesn't love you, coz if she do she would not let you worry so much, I can see that she only wants you for the reason that she wanted a spare that would always stay behind her back after she ruins her life everyday. I think it would be better if you bring her to rehab, let her fix her problems about her addiction and if everything is settled, both of you could start again. But if she dont want to, i think it would be better for you to leave her, you can get used to it, it will only hurt you even more to see her becomming worse everyday.
A
male
reader, danny_zeco +, writes (23 September 2007):
danny_zeco is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks to all the replies, it has given me some useful tips, and advice on what i now see fit to do.
chears Dan.
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A
female
reader, Ssmit +, writes (22 September 2007):
She said: "that's the way I am, get used to it" Well, in a good relationship you can be yourself but you also try to take care of your partner. You give her the chance to be herself but you cannot count on her!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2007): Good God!
You LOVE her? Give me a break, she's a slut, a drug user and is using you and you know it. Go and find someone who treats you like you deserve to be treated - with a little respect!
Stay with her if you'd like a dose of gonorrhoea!
Phil
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (22 September 2007):
 Say, get use to me GOODBYE. That's hard to do, but you'll get different reactions. First she'll keep doing what she's doing, and you'll end up finding someone who treats you right. Second, she's going to be shocked, because she'll realize she can not treat you that way. Third, she'll start crying and beg you to stay, which you do and the behavior changes. Fourth, she'll start crying and beg you to stay, then when she knows she has you she begins her destructive behavior again.
What needs to be reviewed is you. What are you willing to put up with and what aren't you. How do you define you not only deserve, but demand to be treated. What are your morals, and principles, how do you define a good relationship, and the one you are in now. How do you look at her behavior. Are you willing to put up with her party cheating ways. People who do that not only disrespect their relationship and the person they are with, but it lacks self respect as well.
You can't have a relationship with one person having the mindset "you're going to be her for me, and i'm going to do whatever I please. If you give in without change, you can expect repeated behavior. I'd tell her how you feel, and negotiate the boundaries of your relationship, or I'd have to say see you later.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2007): wow, shes an alcoholic drug addict that cheats on you & doesn't tell you so she's also a liar to boot. And her response is "get used to it" She doesn't even deserve a boyfriend. All she deserves is another drug addict alcoholic liar cheater. You can do so much better. She could even be putting your heath at risk by sleeping around while drunk, I doubt she even uses condoms. I know a girl just like this & she will screw any guy in sight unprotected *while she has a boyfriend*. These people don't care about themselves so they can't possibly care about you either. Leave her to her demises.
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A
female
reader, rose the relationship solver +, writes (22 September 2007):
 You can't change her if you love her but don't agree with what she is doing then try and move on. She will keep on doing this when she is drunk and nothing can stop her. Get her counciling or get out her life.
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A
male
reader, Uncle Trev +, writes (22 September 2007):
You are not going to change her because she does not want to change.
If you want to stay with her you have to basically put up with her ways. She is not willing to change which makes me wonder how much she loves you - I would have thought not as much as you love her. If you can stand the way she is - if your love for her outweighs her behaviour and habits then continue although it will be a rough ride for you.
I can only tell you what I would do in your shoes and that would be to get out of this one and find somebody else who is less stressful - but then again I am not there in love with her.
Forget helping her as she does not want to help herself at the moment and you would be wasting your time.
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