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She calls me her daughter but charges me $US 500 per month to live with her. Is that too much?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family, Teenage, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 April 2015) 5 Answers - (Newest, 29 April 2015)
A female United States age 22-25, *zzygurl writes:

Im 19 year old, I live with my ex guardian. I have been living with Her since I was 16 year old when I dad passed.

She increased my monthly payment to $500 a month for staying there. I used to pay $300 before.

She calls me her daughter but why do I have to pay that much. I think that's basically rent money if I was to be living with a roommate in an apartment.

I want to move out but I work full time and I'm also a full time student .

I Wanted to wait till I finsh school but it's gonna take a while because I'm still working.

My biological mother is still alive but can't support me because she lives in another country.

I also support her by sending her money. And I have car insurance and other bills too. I won't be able to save money anymore.

I think $500 is too much, what do you guys think.

View related questions: money, my ex, roommate

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2015):

It is not too much for rent. It's quite cheap for even places with low costs of living. She is probably using this as a teaching moment for you. She wants you to see what it is like to pay your own way. Great!

You are an adult, 19 years old, why do you still need to live with your guardian when you have a full time job?

If you can find a roommate or two, you could get a place of your own and split the rent. May even be able to get your share below the $500 that you pay now, which will create some extra cash flow for utilities, savings, and your other bills.

If you don't have enough money to support yourself, don't send so much to your mom overseas. You need to take care of yourself first, that is your priority. Your mom is surely capable of taking care of herself, as she brought at least one other person into the world. She should not be a burden on you.

Best of luck to you in finding your own place and independence!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (29 April 2015):

Honeypie agony auntWhat is the overall rent for the place?

Is the $500 including food and utilities?

IF YOU feel it is too much why not sit her down and tell her, that you feel $500 is too much for you to pay.

I have a niece who lives with her mother in a $550 rental, she pays her mother $450 a month, that covers rent, food and utilities. (though I doubt her mom actually spends much on food as she seems to never cook, it's ramen noodles over there a lot, but.. that is besides the point).

IF you are over 18 and have a full time job, you have an income and should CONTRIBUTE to the household's expenses.

I agree that it is time for you to move out. I also remember many of your other posts with issues with this guardian.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy + , writes (29 April 2015):

CindyCares agony aunt It's impossible to answer you without knowing where you live. There may be huge differences from a place to another.

If you lived in NY and you paid 500 $ for sharing with one roommate, you'd be deliriously happy, seeing that even a studio below 2000 would be a dump. Ditto in LA.

In other places, 500 monthly coud be reasonable- or could be a bad bargain over market price.

It depends how it is the neighborhood, how big is the house , etc..

And , are we talking about sheer rent, or does it include groceries , utilities, cable Tv , phone, Internet ? Do you buy all your own toiletries individually ? Who replaces detregents, toilet paper, light bulbs, etc. etc . ?

Does she cook , clean , do laundry for you , or viceversa , or you split work 50/50 ?

The variables are many, I don't think anybody can tell you if you are paying a fair price without having any details.

Anyway it' s not that hard to find if you are being overcharged. Rather than just guessing, get info : go to a real estate agency, or check the rental ads on newspapers , or simply go on line , digit " average rental price for a 2 bedrooms ( or what is it that you are sharing ) in X street , or X area ", divide by two, and you'll know if you are being overcharged or not.

Actually, I think you should move out anyway. I remember your previous posts, and this is not at all the first time that you have money and trust issues with this lady : re. your car, your inheritance , your upkeep, etc. It seems thete was not much love ,ot trust,lost between you anyway, so why staying if you can afford sharing with someone else elsewhere ? You might have to make do with a smaller accomodation, or a less desirable neighboorhood, etc. But it may be worthy it. You need to find out what exactly you could afford based on your salary ( again, that's really not that hard to determine !, just check rental ads on newspapers or on-line ) and if you can't make it on your own ( probable, nowadays ) you can split with one or more roommates.

I don't see how the fact of being in school would keep you from doing that . You are going to schol and working full time- and you would be doing it anyway, living at your tutor's home or living alone ,or with roommmates. It's not the fact of changing addtess which would reduce or increase your workload.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States + , writes (29 April 2015):

So_Very_Confused agony auntWhat will rent somewhere else run you? What will the utilities cost.

Around here 500 dollars a month for room and board is reasonable. it seems to matter where you live however.

why not live somewhere else with a few roommates?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2015):

In some ways it is good that your guardian is demonstrating that you should pay your way in life and congratulations by the way for being in gainful employment and studying because it is a struggle to do either one of those things and stay afloat at the moment. That appears to be quite a steep increase in the rent - much higher than a wage increase is likely to be ever. Would it be a good idea to write down how much income you have and your outgoings and present this to your guardian - to show how difficult it will be to pay that amount? Surely if she has your best interests at heart she will want to negotiate and perhaps you could meet her half way on the increase? If you cannot negotiate it down or you feel aggrieved over it perhaps you could look elsewhere for accommodation? You sound like a very independent and clued-up person so you might have better luck finding a place that is less money each month. You have the right to save money and have your own goals - don't let somebody else's greed ruin that when they don't have to.

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