A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have a friend, a lady who was a client. We have become friends over the last few months during the course of our business. Now I started a new job but she calls me to chat. These calls have become a daily event and last for a minimum of 15 mins. We are both married but she recently asked me not to disclose that fact that we converse daily to anyone. She has kept this from her husband. She loves and looks forward to our chats but I'm wondering if there is something more as she feels guilty. Am I missing something? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2007): One of two things are happening here: 1) she has a jerky husband who wouldn't understand an innocent friendship with a male or 2) she Has an ulterior motive and likes you a lot more than you think and she is feeling a lot of guilt. If you feel it's number 2, then this has become an uneasy, unbalanced friendship for you. She is friends with you but with her own agenda and you are feeling uncomfortable with that. I don't blame you. She is in control here, and she doesn't have the right to do that to you. It's disrespectful and that is not what a quality good friendship is about. I would suggest you ask her 'why' her husband doesn't know and that you want her to be honest with him. I am assuming your wife knows of your friendship with this lady. Tell her that your wife knows. because you share an honest, trusting, truthful marriage. If you do find out she has self-serving motives for wanting this friendship with you you will have to be honest with this lady and tell her you appreciate her friendship but that's all it is. Good luck, dear
A
male
reader, markanthonyv0  +, writes (6 April 2007):
Think of it this way, if she was having problem in her marriage, lets say she has an extremely jealous husband, do you think she wants him to know that she enjoys speaking with another man everyday. Really get to know what her intentions are for calling you. For example, you could be the one person that provides stress relief for her. It could be like a hunger, why does she always call everyday, could be for the same reason you eat everyday, you get hungry.
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