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She broke my heart and it took me months to get over her. Now after 9 months she texts me out of the blue and my wound reopened, what do I do now?

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 June 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 9 June 2008)
A male United Kingdom age 41-50, *061sarahs writes:

Dear All..I have a major head masher...my ex and i split 9 months ago. It was messy, she told me i was the best, we made love, i kissed her as she left for work etc....then that evening, i was dumped...my heart laying bleeding...anyway,

Its taken me month upon month to try and get over her. I thought I was in front and winning... and then, out of the blue i received a text from her that simply said

"I Miss You"

I sent a question mark back to her...and received a text saying

I just wanted to tell you...

The wound has now re openned and my head is racing like a hyperactive speed freak..

What do I do?

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A male reader, whatsTrueLove? United States +, writes (9 June 2008):

I don't know what type of music you like, but this is a very, very good song, that deals with what you are going through...Boyz II Men - Doing just fine

http://youtube.com/watch?v=qV8DupH0pD4

Hope you feel well, and be strong, you've made it 9 months without her, proving you don't need her, so stay strong and show her you are doing just fine :)

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A male reader, Rey United States +, writes (8 June 2008):

Rey agony auntI understand your emotions. Recently I was dealing with an Ex that has a personality disorder. She would say she doesn't care about me and be downright cruel then a second later she would be calling me saying how much she loved me. If you haven't spoken with her in 9 months then you're doing much better than me my friend. We broke up in Nov, yet she calls me all the time. Almost everyday. Only just recently have I decided not to speak with her anymore.

I gave my Ex a second chance once before and she turned around and broke my heart again. If you give your Ex a chance she may only take you for granted and treat you badly again. Heartbreak hurts, man. I know. I think about my Ex (who was my first love btw) Every single day and I wish I didn't cause I know she's no good for me.

Nevertheless, my Ex has a personality disorder while yours may just be a regretful and immature girl who may have learned the error of her ways. If you're anything like me you've thought about getting back with her a few times, but then you're afraid to let her back into your life because you don't want to be hurt again. Only you can judge based on ur time spent together. Was she mostly good person or did you always know deep down that she'd break your heart?

I say you keep moving forward and try to forget about her. However, if she persists in contacting you more it wouldn't hurt to hear what she has to say, just keep your guard up and proceed with ur eyes open. You don't want to fall victim to the "Come closer so I can slap you" move. Slap Emotionally speaking, I mean.

I hope this helps.

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A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (8 June 2008):

eddie agony auntShe's probably discovered that her attempt at finding herself was not quite as fulfilling as she hoped. In other words, the novelty might have worn off. There is risk in going back to her. Are you prepared to take that chance and also, are your able to live with what she may have done over the past months.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2008):

I suggest you: Ignore her messages or send her a message telling her that you are very happy, have moved on and asked her not to contact you again.

Given half the chance this girl will keep messing with you, specially if she knows she still has an effect on you emotionally. Please what ever you do, do not allow her the satisfaction of knowing how her mesage is upsetting you.

Good luck!

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (8 June 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntWhen she is lonely and blue , she thinks of you .

Do not go back to her because she would be only using you and

you will be shown the exit when she finds someone else.

You are expendable.

Save yourself from a second heartbreak!

Move on with your life.

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A female reader, Country Woman United Kingdom +, writes (8 June 2008):

Country Woman agony auntTell her that via text don't start playing with my head as it has taken me a long time to get to where I am and after the way you ended the relationship I just don't need something that plays mind games.

She is obviously very two faced and that is not someone you want in your life, believe me there is much better women out there who would not play with your emotions like that, have sex with you in the morning saying you are the best and then later on that day she dumps you like an oily old rag.

You deserve much better than her so stay strong and ask her not to text you again as you don't need someone who is into picking up and dropping someone so easy.

In all honesty I probably reckon that she was seeing someone or interested in them while you were together and that was how she so easily dropped you like a hot cake and took up with them and when the rose tinted glasses were taken off and she is probably now again on her own she has come to realise what she gave up with you, however, she doesn't deserve you and YOU NEED to stay strong as you are much better off without her.

How can you ever trust someone like that again, she can give you all the promises in the world but what is to say that she is not someone who gets bored easily and decides to jump from one bed to another. I would not be able to trust someone like that and personally I don't think you should either.

There are other women out there who do not play mind games and who would give you the relationship you so easily deserve to have.

Tell her NO MORE CONTACT, not interested after the way you dumped me. Be brutal and don't listen to any of her excuses. She will play with your head and after so long of coping on your own you don't need that. Maybe think of changing your mobile number or something - it is very easy to get a new sim these days and they cost next to nothing so you don't have to put up with this contact if you don't want to.

If she turns up on your doorstep make sure you don't let her in, say you are just on your way out for a date with someone very special, even if it is to call in on friends or family or drive around the block don't give her the satisfaction of thinking you have been sitting around waiting for her to realise the error of her ways. Stay busy and don't succumb OK.

Take care.

Here anytime OK.

BFN

Country Woman

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