A
male
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Theres this girl i like. I asked her out, she initially said yes, but then backed out the next day, citing she wanted time to think and said we would see over anything happening...This was a couple of months ago and i havent seen much of her since, but we have spoken a couple of times as mates and things seem fine between us, at least on a conversation level... We're not particularly close mates tho i should add, just friendly when we see each other around, or sometimes do sport together.How might things stand between us? I don't want to push the issue of anything, and perhaps as she hasn't come to me since over the issue what she said looks more and more likely like a subtle and kind brush off if you know what i mean... But perhaps from my point of view, there never been what i would call closure on the issue (ie shes never acutally said 'no' to going out with me).We've both got important exams coming up soon and im not going to say anything untill after these. Do you think it might be a good idea to perhaps raise the idea of us going out again? I would only do it very gently, say its all up to her etc etc, not suggest doing anything too 'full on' and relationship-ey. Or would you say she made herself perfectly clear before, and by not coming to me since everything? In a way, half of me says id rather ask her just so that she even says no, cos then at least i'll feel closure on the issue and feel at least then i can accept things.Another thing is, i initially asked her out about 7 weeks ago. I asked her a couple of times over the next couple if she wanted to just hang out as mates, so i guess you could call it 5 since the idea faded a little. My question is, would now be a good time to ask again? because if i leave it untill all this terms exams and stresses are over its another 6/7 weeks time. But then perhaps leaving it longer might be better anyway.Any help is appriciated! Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, penta  +, writes (27 April 2007):
 After your exams, say something like this: "You know, I've asked you out a couple of times. Nothing serious, just to date to see if we'd be good as more than friends. I'm okay with a just-friends relationship, but I'd like to see if there's something more and I really enjoy your company. So I'm going to ask you out one more time -- then I'm going to stop being so stalkerish [then smile, that was a joke] and wait for you to ask me out. So, coffee? [or whatever]"
Then let it go. If she doesn't get it after this, she's got you in the friend zone and that's where you're going to stay.
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