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Shaving, losing my virginity and pain! Need advice on all!

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 April 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 4 May 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 22-25, anonymous writes:


I'm 16, and i think that in august i will loose my virginity to this lad i am in love with. We're not going out because he lives about 2 hours away and we think it would be too hard to have a relationship cus of the distance, but we both want to have sex.

I am a virgin but he isn't, and i'm 100% ready, i'm just worried about how much it will hurt me. I know everyone is different but still .. do you think i will bleed alot, and if so when, during or after?

Does it hurt after sex too? Also, atm i shave all of my pubic hair, do lads think that's okay?

Please answer :)

thanks. x

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A female reader, crissyj89 United States +, writes (4 May 2010):

Ok, 1, you are a little too young and hormone driven to totally understand what you're doing. As goowes says, you don't know your body. You need to learn it, learn about your parts and then when you fully understand it, maybe you can make a responsible decision. Teenagers think they know what they want at that moment, but later on, they regret it. I once thought I was ready for sex, but now, I am glad that when I was 16, I didnt have sex with a guy who I didnt love.

2. The pain comes from 'popping your cherry', as its so often called. That means, skin is ripped when he enters you. For some females, their cherry has already been popped before their first time having sex (yes, this can happen. Tampons can do this, as can masturbation, etc). So depending on that, and on the male's penis size and ho rough/gentle he is, pain can vary from slight discomfort to very painful.

Just so you know, your first time probably wont be what you expect. Since he isnt a virgin, he wont fumble around like a virgin male would, but, for you, the experience will not be like what most girls dream.

Please, take my advice, hold off on the sex. There are other options to reign in your hormone flooded body, and you will not regret it like you may this first time.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2010):

I dated a guy who lived 3 hours away (I'm still dating him) he drove to see me every two weeks for the weekend (our parents agreed it was safer for him to spend the night than drive home when tired) I was 17. I'm still dating him and verry much in love with him.

Don't lose your virginty because you feel like it on a whim. Make it with someone you love. You'll regret it when someone you really loves comes along.

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A male reader, The Realist Canada +, writes (30 April 2010):

The Realist agony auntLet him know that you're nervous because he will have to go slow and take it easy. I'm sure he will. Make sure to either be really wet or to get a water based lube just to help out. There is a good chance it will be painful ranging from a little discomfort to the point where you won't really enjoy the sex you will be more focused on the fact that you two are togehter.

Yes you will probably bleed but not tons. During is a posibilty but chances are you will only notice after. I reccomend a pad after just so it doesn't riun the underwear.

As for the shaving thing all guys like different things. I personally prefer shaven and I'm sure he'll like it if you are.

Just remember to be safe and be very vocal to him while having sex so he knows what hurts and what doesn't. Communication is very important.

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A female reader, goowes United States +, writes (30 April 2010):

goowes agony auntWhy do you want to have sex? Get a book on womens privates, I am 40 and just learned that all of our sexual parts aren't even touched by the guys thing. They get all the pleasure, for females its manual and takes 20 min to get us started before we even will have pleasure. Before you loose something you can never get back, make sure you know what your getting. Go learn yourbody first!

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A female reader, It's all be okay United Kingdom +, writes (30 April 2010):

Why do you want to have sex with someone who lives 2 hours away? Especially when you are worried that it will hurt you and you will bleed?

I think you're not ready yet.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2010):

i myself love a woman/girl to be shaved there and just be careful and not get pregant your 1st time , it can happen so take percautions and hope you enjoy, some dsays it hurts some says it hurts at 1st then starts to feel good.

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