A
female
age
18-21,
little-star
writes:hi. im really worried. i know this may sound wierd but everytime i have sex with my boyfriend it hurts realli bad tryin 2 get it in. i keep feeling a right idiot thinkin my boyfriend will think theres something wrong with me even though hes always asking me if i want him to stop cause he dunt wanna hurt me and im too shy to go to the docs. any advice???please help me xx
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female
reader, birdynumnums  + ♥, writes (8 March 2007):
 Get your boyfriend to take you to the Doctor, and go in to see him together. For some women, the muscles involuntarily clamp down because of nerves, for a number of different reasons (fear of sex, fear of the previous pain, fear of breaking the hymen (generally not painful), religious upbringings, etc.) Unfortunately, it doesn't help you relax the next time! A friend of mine had this happen several times when she was trying to lose her virginity. She and her fiance went to the Doctor and he gave her some muscle-relaxants to get over the first time tenseness, and after that - everything worked like a charm. The next time she was able to relax the muscles on her own and they didn't need any further help. Good Luck!
A
female
reader, chachacha +, writes (8 March 2007):
It hurts if you're not lubricated. You get lubricated when you are really turned on and it takes a bit longer than it takes men to get turned on. Therefore, you are probably allowing him to try to have intercourse before you actually want it.
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A
female
reader, Whisper +, writes (8 March 2007):
 Dont worry.....this is normal. Just relax and enjoy the moment, and dont think about it too much lol. It sounds like your tensing up, therefore your preventing yourself from being turned on and this is what hurts. It used to be the same for me, i was so nervous! The other problem could be that your not lubricated enough, and this may cause pain after intercourse too. This could be related to your nerves but also if your taking the conraceptive pill as some have a tendancy to dry you right out! Best advice, relax xx good luck xx
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A
female
reader, fishfood +, writes (8 March 2007):
 I agree with the others. Its probabaly because you're tensing up everytime as you're thinking that its going to hurt and because of that, you might be too dry. Try to relax and use lubricated condoms or lubricants like KY Jelly and have longer foreplay and then when the time comes, you can think to yourself "this isnt going to hurt because im well lubricated", then u'll relax and it shouldnt be as painful!! It's always going to be painful untill you start having sex on a regular basis and your body starts getting used to it. If after this it still does hurt (although hopefully it wont!!), you really should go to the doctors. Ask to see a female nurse because although it is really embarrassing (im DREADING my first smear test!!), they see these things all the time and wont think anything of it!! Just close your eyes and think of something else untill its over!! My friend actually takes her IPod and listens to music whilst shes being examined because she says its less embarrassing as she can shut herself off from whats happening and relax more.Good luck and have fun!!!xxx
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A
reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (8 March 2007):
 You could try having loads of foreplay before you engage in sexual intercourse. Get yourself totally relaxed and in the mood before any penetration. If that doesnt work, you could always try using lubricants to help ease the friction, as well as moistening the private areas!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2007): I know what you mean. Sex used to hurt for me for the first few months of being with my boyfriend. The more I used to worry about it the worse it got. I used to feel fine and relaxed until it came to having sex then I tensed up because I was worrying about it hurting me so much, and it felt worse.I was lucky, like you. It sounds like your boyfriend really cares for you, as he doesnt want to just go ahead with it when its hurting you. Maybe you aren't having enough foreplay beforehand. You should try fooling around for longer and not thinking about the fact it might hurt, just relaxing and letting your body prepare itself. You could also try using lubricant to see if that helps.If it still hurts you should see your doctor though. My friend suffered the same problem for 2 years before she went to the doctor. She says she wished she went earlier because they're really nice and it's not scary at all. It's their job remember, you shouldnt feel embarrassed!Good luck xx
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A
female
reader, aunty t  +, writes (8 March 2007):
 You have nothing to worry about. I would say that the main reason it is hurting you is that you are tensing up. If you are worrying about this it will only make it worse. Once you learn to relax your muscles will too and it shouldnt hurt. Once you are having sex on a regular basis you should loosen up .
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