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female
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anonymous
writes: i've been with my partner for 10 years. Sex has been okay but never really passionate. I love my partner to bits, but he never wants sex. I don't want to leave him, but feel this is a problem What should I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, juliagulia  +, writes (2 March 2006):
 It does sound like you have a great relationship. If all that is missing is some fun in bed, then you are lucky! All you have to do is try some new things. Get creative. Try meeting up at a bar and pretending you don't know each other and then "hook up" in the bathroom! tee-hee! You could rent some, uh, "instructional" videos and see if that spices things up. You could take him out to a strip club and tip some of the girls together and loosen things up so when you get home you are both kind of "riled up" and you could give him your own version of a table dance. You could blindfold him and feed him different foods and then put some whip cream on him and eat him for dessert! Go park the car at the lake and make out like teenagers. Buy a sexy costume and surprise him. Visit an adult store together and laugh at some of the ridiculous stuff in there and then buy some new "toys" and bring those into play. Just try to find new ways to have fun and see where it goes. Surely you could make a spark with some of these suggestions!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2006): You love him very much so it sounds to me like you both have a caring and committed relationship..a strong foundation. To me, that alone is the real essence; the true, meaningful 'passion' of a good, solid marriage. You are fotunate, many never achieve nor understand that perspective. I do think that couples shouldn't rely totally on the quality of physical love to make them happy, all of the time. Making love is how a man and a woman bond, and express their emotional union. It is the ultimate intimacy between them. However, what you are experiencing in the sex department is what many marrieds go through, after many years together. You are not alone. Your marriage just has some glitches that needs work-in the bedroom department. This will take time, hard work and big efforts, on both your parts to get that 'zing' back. There are many websites that offer good advice on how to get that 'spiciness' back into one's sex life. Perhaps you might want to research it and 'surprise' him some evening. You may just have to grab the 'bull by the horns' and go for it. See what happens and remember to have fun! Take care
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