| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Help.... I am at my wits end. My partner and I have been together for three years (12 mths of this time we were having an affair for the past 12 months we have been living together) The problem is he doesn't want sex. It seems there is always an excuse, tired, too much to drink, stress, got an early start etc etc. We have just had a two week overseas holiday and we made love once (this was the first time in over a month). It was all over in 5 minutes. I don't understand that when we were having an affair it was never a problem. I am feeling so inadequate. I feel that there must be something wrong with me. Whenever I try to talk to him, he says, just give it time, relax.....but he has been saying this now for 18 months!!!
View related questions:
affair Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, snowbird  +, writes (16 October 2006):
 Sorry, but I can't give you any answer that you are going to want to hear...When you were having the affair, did he never get tired, stressed, drink, or have an early start??
Do things change that dramatically? I doubt it, I'm afraid..
Sounds to me as though he is giving you a pile of excuses!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2006): I am not a person that believes "Once a cheater always a cheater" or "Your relationship is based on lies..." so I would not jump to conclusion that he is cheating. There might be a medical reason for this.
Ask him to go to his Dr. for a physical and tell him how you feel about yourself because of his lack of intamacy. If that does not work and you feel that you need more from him, you may need to consider your options and move on.
-J
...............................
A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (16 October 2006):
 Sometimes some people love the thrill of the naughtiness and the fact that what they are doing is wrong and sneaky, same as sometimes once your in a proper relationship the need to try to be the best and make a big impression on the other person isn't needed as much so some people slack and don't put as much effort in once they have that person.
Horrible thing to ask but are you sure he isn't doing to you what you and him did to our previous partners?
Good luck :o)
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2006): maybe he is just getting used 2 be with u all the time or mayber there are other reasons that u need 2 consoder like is he having an affair?maybe this hurts 2 hear but you need 2 face facts.Ask him doesnt he fancy you anymure or is there another women! u need to now becasue u cant keep up with all the excuses he gives you!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2006): not to sound horrible,but you sure he isnt having an affair,only if he cheated with you he is capable of cheating on you.perhaps he gets bored quick.did you get together because the affair was discovered.Affairs rarely works out only the relationship is based on lies,and lust.
...............................
A
female
reader, Hanna  +, writes (15 October 2006):
 It seems to me like he was only really interested when you were in a different relationship, it's a turn on for some knowing its element of danger and getting caught.
...............................
|
